Blog Marathon - Post 9 - May the tribe grow!

I spoke to a friend today after many years. After I was back on FB, I saw her posts about her son's origami skills. I was pleasantly surprised that the boy had taken up a completely different hobby. In the age of online games and screen addiction, this boy was creating wonders with his hands and the ancient art of Origami. I learned from her today that she had shifted to New York to pursue a course, and her family was back in India. She would spend one year doing the course and probably the next year she would get a job and then her husband and son would join her later. But she was going to stay alone for two years, away from them. It must have been a tough decision for her, but for better future prospects, she chose to take the plunge and move to New York. I didn't have any words to say about her decision. I was no one to give an opinion after all. But I instantly had tremendous respect for her husband and family and for her to have taken that bold step of moving away alone for a short time. How many women in India are really able to do this?
I know a girl from my previous company in Bangalore, who is a blogger, entrepreneur, traveler, and a German language expert. She dabbles into many different fields with a lot of ease. She has a two years old daughter, and she has come to Germany on a trip for 5 months on her own, without her husband and without her kid. She is visiting different cities with a different set of friends and is posting pictures on FB in which she looks delighted and seems to be enjoying the trip. She posts the updates daily and is really making the most of the me-time. How many women in India can really think of such a solo trip taking out time only for themselves?

I remember my close friend Aabha going on a trip with her girlfriend to the Maldives for 2 weeks without any family. They both had a wonderful time, away from the daily routine. They relaxed, they chatted, they regained their energy and they came back with a positive spirit.

I have a lot of admiration for such women. From the beginning, a girl is always expected to think of others first. It is expected to place her wishes and desires only at the end, if at all. The family responsibilities, the desire to keep everyone happy often robs her of her own identity. She starts identifying herself as a daughter, then a wife and then a mother of someone. She never thinks of herself as an individual. She prioritizes her family first, and then if time permits, she thinks of her own needs and wants. A working woman has something to look forward to, but a woman sitting at home and just doing the household stuff and managing the house loses her self confidence completely. Her identity, her self-worth, her core is lost to self-loathing and self-doubt. As it is a thankless job, and it really doesn't give her satisfaction, it begins to create a significant burden on her. It is essential in such cases to find something that diverts attention from only the household stuff. It's time to find something to look forward to or to immerse in some form of an art form, which will help her find her identity.

The above examples of girls are on the rise in India. The women in Europe and other countries are more emancipated and have equal rights and upbringing. I see so many women in Europe traveling solo, sitting alone in cafes reading a book, or going shopping all alone. The culture is different here, it's more individualistic. Indian culture is more inclusive and takes the whole family structure and relationships into consideration. I am not saying that the Indian woman should also start staying alone and going places alone. But I think it is high time that she considers her self-worth and has self-respect and does things that define her as an individual.