Surprise Pizza Party

The other day I had written how my cook didn't turn up and how I managed to cut out a nice rice dish along with dahi boondi etc. I was returning home in the office shuttle today and on my way home, I was just thinking what I could make tonite for dinner and there my hubby calls me to ask me if I can join him for a Pizza party at Pizza Hut with his colleagues. I happily said yes to it as it was my favorite destination. I spent rest of the time in the bus thinking which Pizza should I order and what should I drink etc.

I have always been on the heavier side of the weighing scale...

Right from childhood..

If you happen to see my pictures as a kid, you would understand what I mean. I loved eating biscuits, chocolates, ice-creams and bananas. My dad had a medical store and being the only child, he pampered me a lot. Also both my parents are very bulky and have a heavy bodyline. So that body structure has been passed on to me obviously. I got a prize in the healthy baby competition and the Parle Biscuit company wanted to cast me in their biscuit advertisement, but my grandparents did not fancy such an idea and refused outrightly.

When I started going to college, I had an extremely low opinion about myself, it was mainly due to being overweight. I thought I was not beautiful and had no close friends really. I was good in studies, which isolated me even more from the crowd. So until I passed out from the University with a MA degree in German, I was extremely low on self-confidence and self-image. Only when I started teaching German, did I move away from this negative self-image and it changed my life completely for good, of course!

On and off I was struggling with my weighty affairs. It was the same time when I met a few people in an internet group, who became very close friends and Atul, my hubby was one of them. He accepted me as I was, heavy and bulky, but who had a heart of gold (His view about me!!). I got married to him, came to Bangalore, years passed and then I thought of starting a family.

Whenever I met a doctor, he/she told me to reduce weight. I did everything possible under the sun to reduce weight. I took only buttermilk for 7 days, I did GM diet. I did another rigorous diet instructed by some doctor in Pune for 4 months in which I didn't eat rice, chapathi daal at all for 4 months. I ate only fruits, vegetables, juices etc. I reduced a lot in those 4 months, but somewhere deep in my heart, I was not happy. I was starving myself.  This was my age of eating, enjoying life and not restricting myself on things that really gave me pleasure. I did not have my favorite cake on my birthday or Atul's birthday, couldn't enjoy the typical Maharashtrian lunch buffet at my brother-in-law's wedding. At what cost was all this happening? My thyroid levels were also a major contributor to the weight gain problem for which I started taking Allopathic medicines regularly!

I gave a thought to all the diets I did all this while and decided to stop abusing my body by doing finicky diets. My inner voice said. no matter what you do and how you do it, things happen only when they are bound to happen. So whenever it is a good time, I will surely become a mother. For something to happen in the future, about which I am not sure right now, why should I sacrifice my today and not enjoy it?

This Pizza Party brought back all those memories and I said.. It is ok to indulge in such pleasures once a while. Who is going to eat Pizza everyday? Everyday I eat only home cooked food and lots of fruits and vegetables and I also do Yogasanas and Pranayam to keep fit. My weight is still on the higher side and constant, but I do not feel tired and depressed and exhausted, which I think is very important! I laugh a lot, I have a sizeable number of friends, who take me as I am  by nature and heart not and not by the way I look or appear to the outer world. It is very important to believe in yourself as a person and only then the whole world will look at you and believe in you is what I have learned in m struggle against weight!

So I let the fear of tomorrow vanish into the nice ambience of Pizza Hut and enjoyed yummy Simply Veg Pizza with a helping of Paneer El Rancho and Masala Lime juice with Atul and his colleagues!

What a wonderful evening!  

What's cooking tonite?

I am not a very good cook like my grandmom or my mom-in-law.

But I can manage to cook something (edible) if it is really necessary. Like in situations when the cook doesn't turn up, I have a chance to test my culinary skills and manage to cut out a decent (looking and tasting too!) dish.

Last evening, I was very tired, had a long day at work and to add to my woes, my cook didn't come as she was not well. I generally reach home at 7:15 pm and after that the very thought of cooking kills me. But that day I had no choice. I did not want to order anything from outside and so I mustered up courage and decided to make something.

I am good at making any variety of rice! I mean I can play around with rice in the literal sense of it! The most trustworthy dish of rice is Khichadi, which can never go wrong and in which I can put all the vegetables available in my fridge and add some powders (garam masala powder, dhania powder) here and there, put the rice and the vegetables along with the powder in the pressure cooker and there a yummy dish is ready within no time!

Yummy! I am lovin it already!

I needed some side dish to it. What could it be? I had got some khara boondi and curd. So dahi boondi (my all time favorite) with a dash of salt, pepper or red chilly powder, coriander leaves helped me to complete the dinner menu. And I also added the pickle and the papad to dinner which decorated the Khichadi even more.

After finishing cooking, around 8:30-9 pm, I realized that I was not tired anymore and the cooking actually made me fresh and it proved to be one of the stress busters. Atul, my husband sat for dinner and I served him the food. He relished the khichadi and ate it well. Actually, he never complains about anything I cook. He always says it is good! This is one thing I really adore in him! I know how I have cooked, but still that makes me proud and happy when he says that it tastes great!

Now, I have decided to cook at least once a week myself so that I get to learn something new and it also chases my stress away! And who wouldn't want praise from dear hubby? ;) Isn't it?

What is your stressbuster? Cooking? Gardening? Painting?

An encounter with God

Miffed by the fact that nothing was going right in my life inspite of being very humble and religious and ritualistic, I decided to settle this dispute with the Almighty himself. I am not a very big fan of female gods right from my childhood, reasons unknown.. Somehow the only god which is close to my heart since I began to understand things is Ganpati bappa (the elephant god). So, on my way home, there is a temple of Ganpati bappa where I decided to go and talk my heart out to him.

Ganpati bappa: There you are! Long time no see, where have you been all these days?

Me (was quite irritated as I had a bad day at work): I am here only, where else can I go to escape from the life which you have gifted me?

Ganpati bappa: Why, what is wrong with the life you are leading now?

Me: You are asking me this? You know everything well. My work sucks, I have no recognition there no matter how much I contribute, I have to work on week ends many a times. People who joined after me are going places and I am still stuck at the same level and role. My personal life is not great either. I am irritated most of the time at home, I keep complaining the whole time. I can't sleep well at night, have lost my appetite, my thyroid levels are high..

Ganpati bappa: Oh stop complaining now, will you? The problems you are facing are invited by you only my dear, let me explain..

@ Work - Why can't you be happy working as an individual contributor? You can work in flexible hours and you have no tension of any manager watching over you. You have time for yourself and your hobbies when you are not working, which many others do not even have. Why do you always have to compare yourself with the people who have moved ahead and not with those who do not have a job yet inspite of having a sound education?

@ Home - You have such a nice and understanding husband, who never even talks about not having a child yet. He knows that it will surely happen on day when the right time comes. Why don't you accept that you will become a mother only when you are ready for it mentally and physically? You have to wait for some more time and have a firm belief that it will surely happen!

Think of people who are not as privileged as you are or as blessed as you are! Just give it a thought and you will realize that you are not in such a bad shape as you think you are!

I was dumbfounded. How did Bappa know all this? Oh, who else can know better than him? He is the Almighty, isn't he?

Me: I did not realize the other side of my so-called difficulties. I was so engrossed in myself that I forgot that there are people in this world who do not even have basic things in life such as food, clothing and shelter. But bappa, why do you make people suffer this way if they all are your children?

Bappa: I test their patience and their strong will. They realize their own potential and capability and come up with solutions to their own problems, when they are confronted with adversities. When they sit back and contemplate on it, they realize that things can be worked out instead of fretting and fuming over things.

Me: Do you ever go and see them or help them in case they need you?

Bappa: Oh yes, I do. I have visited you too many a times to see if you are alright.

Me (very surprised): Really? When was that? And how come I did not recognize you?

Bappa (grinning from ear to ear): I actually come in different shapes and sizes. You know I can change forms, don't you?

I visited you in form of that hungry kitten whom you fed and reared back to life, when it was helpless and small.

I met you in that pregnant woman whom you offered your seat in the train the other day.

I met you in that young man who was shabbily dressed, but who helped you to get change of Rs. 500/- when you had nothing else to buy a ticket. You were in a spot that day and that man came from nowhere and gave you the change, remember?

Yes, all these incidents flashed before my eyes and suddenly I became quiet and my anger and irritation vanished. I was suddenly content with myself and I was smiling to myself. Bappa was smiling too.

Bappa: I am with you, beta. All the time, with you, within you. Why do you have to search me outside you in temples or other similar places? I am your inner voice and I am your conscience which guides you when you are confused and when you need to take a decision. All you have to do is sit back, close your eyes, think of me and I am there. So my advise to you is make good friends, meet good people, always do good deeds, help others, be good to people even if they are bad to you. Be content with whatever you have, because that is the the best which I have chosen for you.

Me: I understand that but then shouldn't one be ambitious?

Bappa: Oh yes, absolutely, but not at the cost of your inner peace and your family life. Earning money is good which gives you the basic things for survival and also the comforts which you always dreamed of. But running after it forgetting everything around you takes you nowhere and makes you lonely at the end of life's journey.

Me: Yes, I understand now the importance of being peaceful and content from within and that I need not search for it outside me or in an external form or in people who are not able to fulfill my expectations. I should just do my duties without any expectations so that I do not get dejected at all and if expectations are fulfilled, it is a bonus!

Bappa: Yes, you get the whole point now. I see now that you are mellowed down and not angry on me or the circumstances in your life. Everybody in this world has a definite role to play and you have yours too! So go my child, be the hero, I mean heroine of your own life and do your best and leave to me the rest..

Bappa winks at me!

Me:  Yes, my namaskar (greetings) to you and thank you very much for acquainting me with my inner self where you always reside.

I came out with a new self and a radiant smile and content in my heart. From that day onwards, I do not crib about anything in my life and take every day as a 'present' from the bappa!

Do you think you should also need to talk to the Almighty some day?

P.S: The dialog could have been written in Marathi, my mother-tongue, but then to cater to a multiplicity of audience, I chose to write it in English. Bappa talking in English may seem a bit odd, but then it is the dialog with one's inner self which can be in any language, isn't it?

An Ode to grandparents!

Parents give you birth, but grandparents give you life. 

This is rightly said by someone.

I was lucky enough to take birth in a family, where 3 generations (including me) stayed together and where grandparents were there at least for the few formidable years of my life.

My paternal grandfather retired as a manager from the Ballarpur Textile mills and my grandmother was always a house maker. He had the decision making power and her territory was kitchen. Being born during  Diwali time, I was named Deepa by my grandparents and they left no stone unturned to give me the best of everything.

As my parents were working, my grandparents took care of me, my school, my Tiffin, my homework, and my sports activities etc. They were deeply involved in whatever I did. My granddad whom I fondly called Aaba, always wanted me to study hard and achieve good heights in life! My grand mom always prepared the nicest dishes and pampered me with her love and care. Whenever I thought that I would get a spanking from my parents for some mischief, I was timely saved by my grandparents. They never scolded me or shouted on me. They were patient with my every prank and never had any complaints about whatever I did in those days. They read stories to me and also taught me to say prayers in Sankrit (Ramraksha, maruti stotra etc.)

My generation was a blessed one to have grandparents. Most of my friends had a set of grandparents. Now when I think of it, I have no words to thank them enough. My granddad is no more in this world, but my grand mom still lives with the hope of seeing her great grandson/ granddaughter. She prays every day for me and inquires about my health, even today she sends me goodies, which are only her trademark items and which no one else in this world can make!

My maternal grandfather was a radio officer, but he was ill for many years and hence I saw very less of him and couldn’t bond with him like I did with my paternal grandfather. My maternal grand mom was a strong lady and she worked with the Income Tax. I visited her in summer holidays and stayed with her for 2 months. She took care of me, took me to the famous Chowpati (beach) in Girgaon (in Mumbai), took me for movies, to the children’s park etc.  Till I went to the college, I visited her in my holidays and had a good time with her and my maternal uncle’s family. But now as I have moved to Bangalore, those days have just become memories.

How much do the grandparents do for their grandchildren? Don’t they ever get tired? Will I be able to give at least 10% to my grandchildren of what my grandparents gave to me? Will I be able to be selfless and having no expectations like them?

They forget all their worries and tensions and become one with the kid. Don’t they feel like living their own life in peace now after their children are well settled and all? They can; but they do not want to. They perhaps see their own childhood in the kids and want to give them everything which they missed in their childhood.  I was lucky enough to get this mighty shade (love, care and affection) of those big trees (my grandparents), which are big in all aspects and shall always be!

Now that I am in Bangalore, I see working parents struggling to take care of their kid and then they call their parents to look after their kid. The grandparents leave their own house, city and people and come to this new city to look after the kid. I wonder if it is really justifiable. Just because the working couple doesn’t have time to take care of their kid, who they themselves give birth, why should they trouble their parents for the same? If it was their decision to bring a child into this world, they should also plan well ahead in time about taking care of it and bringing it up!

At this age, the generation of my parents should rather spend time in doing what they always wanted to do, but couldn’t due to time and money constraints. Now that the children are settled, they should leave them on their own to fend for themselves. Children leave their parents for job and go to another city, but when they are in need, they go back to the parents and parents, as they are emotional, do not think twice and again get back into the cycle of bringing up kids. The grandparents do not have the same strength to run behind kids as they had in their youth and in those days, there were so many other people also who took care of the kids, uncles, aunts, neighbors. But now due to the nuclear family structure, couples find it tough to strike a balance between working, earning money to give the best to their child and at the same time spending quality time with them. So, they have no option but to seek help of their parents.

I read somewhere that children grow up happier under care of grandparents. They get the love, affection, care and also the basic values are instilled in them. But now this institution called grandparents is slowly vanishing from the Indian family structure and I really feel bad about it. I would definitely want my children to grow up with their grandparents, but at the same time, I do not want my parents or my husband’s parents to give up their life style and hobbies and interests and get engaged with my kid for their whole time.

Let me see how I am able to solve this dilemma in future!

P.S : I know that ode is lyric poem which is usually marked by a strong emotional intensity. To capture so many things in a lyric poem was impossible and there was no better word to express the same!

One month old..

Today it is 20th March and I just realized that my blog is already 1 month old!

Phew..

How the time flies..

I started blogging on 17th February and have penned down 18 topics, which have moved me or affected me in some way or the other.

How I wished that I hadn't waited so long to write about what I feel and how I react to things that happen in my life. But then as someone has said, things take their own sweet time and everybody has to wait for his/her right time. The blog happened when it was the best time. I should actually be happy that I at least made a beginning somewhere and have been more or less regular in being vocal about different topics.

Instead of wasting time watching the idiot box or doing wasteful thinking about what next, I find it sensible to engage in this activity, where all my emotions find a fixed place of their own in the blog and I also get to know what others actually feel about what I see and feel.

I must thank the following people who really mean a lot to me!

Swati Pandit, my friend, who is in Australia currently and is a regular reader and commentator on my blog. Swati - Thanks for your time and patience. It means a lot to me!

John - He is the greatest source of inspiration for writing and shall always remain.

Koustubh, Milind Jog, Shreyas Joshi (my brother-in-law), Deepa Joshi and Snehal Oke (my colleagues), Kunal Kelkar (my friend from Bhargav Vani group), Saraswati (my school friend whom I met after 15 long years on FB), Tejaswini and Nitin Sikka, Yeshu and dearest mom - who do not visit the blog everytime, but they are for sure my regular critics. Every post is mailed to these people and they get back to me after they read it!

My hubby, Atul Dabke, who sometimes reads my blog just to make me happy and I appreciate it a lot.

All the people who voted on the poll. Thank you all for appreciating whatever I am doing.

All the other people who visit my blog on and off and comment on the posts and keep a tab of what is happening here!

Thank you all for turning my days, which just seemed very ordinary into much more beautiful days and for bringing out the best in me!

Pet lover

My first pet was a dog. His name was Raju and he was a local breed.

My dad had got it from someone after they came over to Dombivli in 1976. Ours was a big bungalow and there was no much locality around. This was in the late 70’s when Dombivli was just a remote village. So, for our safety and for the safety of our house, Raju arrived at our house and in our hearts.

No one dared to come near our gate when Raju was policing there. Only a few people had that privilege. The only person he feared was my dad. Raju hated taking bath and just the utterance of my dad's name silenced him and like an obedient child, he let others carry out their duties. He loved eating rusk and milk. There was one Muslim chacha who regularly came to sell biscuits, Khari, toasts, etc. and without fail, Raju got his due share from chacha. Once he grabbed that small piece in his mouth, he used to run to the terrace and eat there in peace with no one around to disturb him.  When I was a baby, barely 2 months old, one lady used to come to give me a bath. Raju made her life miserable by constantly barking at her. Maybe he thought that she would take me away. Only when he was chained, did she step in to bathe me. He was very ferocious when he sensed that his owners are in danger, otherwise he was a very timid and loving fellow.  Dad had trained him well and he carried out all the jobs very diligently.

I do not quite remember him as I was very small at that time, but I have his pics and it makes me wonder at his loyalty. There was no other world for him, but my family. He stayed with us till he was alive and died at my Aaba's (grandfather in Marathi) legs while my aaba was reading some religious book. My dad tells me that some insect bit him very badly and he couldn’t recover from it even after medication. In those days, there were hardly any veterinary doctors to attend to animals. But then I thought we had only those many days with him. Love comes in strange shapes and sizes and Raju proves to be one of such packages who was a great example of loyalty and love towards his mentors and owners.

Next to turn up in our house and family was a cat, who just appeared in our balcony and then in our living room one fine day. Being good at heart, my Aaji (grandmother in Marathi) didn’t shoo her away and regularly fed her milk and chapathi. The cat soon started showing many times in a day and then one day without announcing, she moved in. We made a carton box for her, where she was supposed to sit, but given a cat’s behavior, the cat is generally very hard to train as compared to the dogs. She sat everywhere else but in that carton. We also lost patience to teach her and she triumphed at that. She became a part of the family, where she could walk in at any time and sleep anywhere and do anything she wanted. Oh yes, I would like to mention here that she had good toilet training and never spoiled our house.

Slowly she extended her family and every 4 months, we had a minimum of 3 and a maximum of 5 kittens. It was a very novel thing, in the beginning, to watch those cotton balls open up their eyes after 7 days, the mother taking them to 7 different locations while they were still small, etc., but then as it happened twice or thrice a year, it became a routine thing for us. I even joked that our house should be renamed a Velankar Maternity Home (for cats). Then there was a series of events that generally followed the birth of kittens. Tomcats were on the prowl, so we had to protect those kittens from them, and then as they grew up, they ate and played with almost all things available at the ground in the house. So that was a task to keep things out of their site, rather keeping them at bay in the balcony itself and not allowing them to enter the house. Then as they grew up, they had to also give them away as it would become impossible to manage 5 human beings and 5-6 cats. So once the house was empty and devoid of kittens again, the mother used to go on a hunger-strike grieving for her kittens, and then that would take 2-3 days for her to normalize and get back to food. 

Morning 9 am and evening at 8 pm were her fixed times for having food. No matter if there was heavy rain, cold, earthquake, she never missed her timings. I felt as if there was some clock stuck in her head which she followed without fail. And yes, what pride she had in eating only on her plate. My Aaji or mom only had to give her food. And my Aaji spoke to her for hours as they were the only ones in the house, once I left for school and my parents for work. People passing by my house wondered if something was wrong with Aaji and why is she talking alone like this. But the cat also closed her eyes and sat in the kitchen as my Aaji finished her chores and gave her a patient ear. The cat never saw any milk, which was kept open, by mistake. Only when the food landed in her plate, she ate to her heart’s content. Sometimes, we offered her rice, chapati, but she never liked it a lot. She loved milk and all milk products. She never stole milk or drank it without our knowledge. I sometimes wondered, what type of cat she is.. she is not true to her basic instincts, but she is true to the people who have raised her. Amazing, isn’t it?

She was afraid of my mom. Sometimes she slept on the couch and we didn’t mind, but my mom hated it. As soon as she heard her footsteps while she returned from office, the cat got down on her own and if she sometimes missed it, hearing my mom utter her name (mani), brought her down immediately. The cat played ping pong ball very beautifully and it is really a treat to watch them play. I loved playing with her and irritating her. She herself played with her tail many times, which amused me a lot. She found something on her own to play with and spend her time. She went out for her routine activities and spent maximum time at home with us. When my aaba died, that morning, the cat was very restless and she was purring in a very strange manner. She did not have food for 2 days and kept visiting the room where he spent his last days. Her eyes were searching for him, but she also knew somewhere that he wouldn’t come back. It is said that animals are able to sense death in advance. I wonder if her strange behavior that morning had something to do with it.

Nevertheless, this association with the cats continued for almost 18 yrs and I have seen 3 generations of cats at my place. The cat who arrived first left after we kept one of her daughters as there can’t be two ruling cats in the small territory and once the second cat’s offspring stayed with us, she left too. This granddaughter was once lost for about 7 days and we searched for her crazily all over the place. She was nowhere to be found. After 7 days, I noticed her in another building with a rope tied around her. It seemed as if she had broken free from somewhere and she was desperately searching for us. As soon as I saw her, I shouted her name (this time it was kabri as she was black and white) and she returned a big mwaaaaao to me and jumped in my arms. We looked like two lost sisters united after many ordeals! My happiness knew no bounds and I walked home merrily with her, proudly looking at the passersby. She also became the mother to many kittens and after a few years, she never returned one evening. We thought she might come back again, but this time she didn’t.  I am still not sure if she went to another house or to another world, itself! 

After that when I moved to Bangalore, one cat appeared and stayed in the passage for about a yr, we raised two kittens of hers and gave them food, etc. But because they littered the place, the landlady drove them away and we never saw them again!

I wanted to have a small aquarium with 2 fishes, I had even named the fishes (Misha and Zoe), but my dear hubby discouraged me from it saying, how would you feel if someone kept you locked in a room of water? I had no answer to this and so I gave up that thought.

I have known people keeping love birds, and parrots which I do not like at all. Caging birds is inhuman and the cage is certainly not their right place.

I have seen the movie “Born Free”, which was based on a true story. A couple got a chance to rear cubs and they grew into wonderful and majestic lions. The male cats moved away, but the female cat stuck to them all the time. They had to go a lot of exercises to finally help her venture into the wild, which was her true habitat. And after the couple met her after a few years with her cubs, she literally leaped on them like a kid would do to his parents. She spent some time with the couple and moved back to the jungle and then they never saw her again! That movie was very touching, you should watch it if you get a chance!

I haven’t got a pet in the real sense in the past few years now but would like to have a German shepherd or a Golden Retriever, sometime in my life. Dogs are most loyal to the masters and their way of showing love and affection just bowls me over. it is also true that only the master can recognize the love and affection in the dog’s eyes!

Pets help us to realize how to love without expecting anything in return. They ask for little time and attention and then they are all yours, ready to do anything for you. You must have seen so many movies that reflect the love between animals and humans. Haathi mere Saathi was a good movie that shown unusual love between an elephant and a human being. Movies of dogs, monkeys, pigeons, and their bonding with the masters touch us all.

I have not known any unusual pet till now, say a crocodile or an insect. Though I love watching the advertisement of HSBC in which a mother while peeling vegetables comes across a green worm and screams, but her son quickly comes from his room and takes it from her and puts it in a glass container and keeps it as his pet. Ach, insects, and pet.. can't imagine.


Those who do not love pets or haven't had them anytime in their loves are altogether a different category of people, but who have some time or the other had a pet would enjoy this post of mine and I would definitely like to know which pet has been your favorite and do you miss him/her? I am specially denoting the animals as he/she cos the cat and dog which I had were really very close and special to me just like any other family member. I hate denoting them as "it".

Greying together

These 5 young ladies met in a local train.

As most of us know, local trains form an integral part of Mumbai and one cannot imagine Mumbai without the local trains. Trains are over-crowded, there are accidents, delays, etc. etc, but they can’t replace any other mode of transport.  The trains help cover a great distance in lesser time. Here’s an account of how this train system helped foster a sustainable and very unique bond amongst the fellow travelers.

Their names were Shaila, Smita, Manju, Ulka and Medha. I would call them mavshi (aunt) here. All except Shaila (who is my mom J) were employed in a bank and my mom worked in the BMC head office.

They all were newly married and had come to the central suburbs like Dombivli and Kalyan after marriage, but for job purposes they had to travel to the then Victoria Terminus (now CST) everyday. Being newly married and marred with adjustment problems, they bonded with each other quickly and shared the day to day things each other. Laughing together helped them to beat the stress of routine life and they created an own world of themselves in the train. In the meanwhile the families got extended and they all become proud mothers to son and daughters. Now bickering about in-laws and husbands was replaced by bringing up the babies and getting them to talk and feed and to school. Everybody knew almost everything that was going on in other’s lives. And the bond was getting stronger and deeper.

Children grew up, went to school. Their mothers collectively took them to picnics, movies, parties and the children also became fast friends. Some went to the same school and the same tuition teacher. All occasions, be it birth, death, celebration of a promotion, rank of a child in the school, pre-wedding party for the bride or groom to be, they all got together with each other and were a constant source of support and strength. Years were passing by and their love for each other was increasing in leaps and bounds.

It so happened in the coming years that it was not possible for them to meet every day in the train as the timings changed, offices changed. But they made a point to meet once a month in the same train where they initially met. They got nice, hot, special goodies to share with each other and also talked their hearts out when they met.  Then slowly as the years progressed, Medha mavshi took voluntary retirement and Smita mavshi moved to Pune. Manju mavshi moved to Thane and Shaila aai and Ulka mavshi were the only ones left in Dombivli.

Though the distance separated them now, I do not remember any single occasion which they have missed in each other’s lives. Be it wedding of Smita mavshi’s son or ulka mavshi’s daughter or the naming ceremony of Medha mavshi’s grand daughter or the SSC board exams of Manju mavshi's twins, all the mavshis were always present there, in their best attire and the jewellery and yes the most important thing of all, their love and blessings for the children.  

It has almost been 32 years now and the bond between them is so fresh and strong even today. There have been many changes in the personal lives, which is quite understandable, but that hasn’t brought any change in their relationship with one another. I would also like to add here that these ladies were successful in bringing their husbands together in their group and making it even stronger. Now whenever they meet, they meet along with their husbands. They laugh like small kids when they all are together and I have named their group as “ha ha hu hu group”. They crack jokes, pull each other’s legs, they are always smiling and happy when they meet. They radiate very positive vibrations and one senses a lot of comfort and joy in their presence.

I sometimes wonder, are the bonds of blood stronger or the bonds of heart? I do not have any siblings or uncles or aunts. All I have and have known since childhood are these mavshis only.  Whenever I meet any one of these 4 mavshis or talk to them on phone, I feel as if I am meeting my own mother. So much love, care and attention, only a selfless mother can share with other kids. Now that I am married and settled in Bangalore, I have been calling this gang of girls who are still young at heart and they have always promised me that they would be coming in this year.

I am waiting to see them and want to show them around in Bangalore.

So, mavshis when are you coming???

Let that day finally dawn sometime in near future!

Movie Mania

I was a movie buff when I was in school and it continued to be a rage in college.

I knew every single movie which released that time and also knew all the stars, the famous and the infamous ones too! Whenever someone asked me about a song, which was playing somewhere on TV or radio, I would tell the whole history around it without much efforts.

I was so proud of my general knowledge about films in those days..

I still remember those golden movies, which I watched in the cinema hall. The first movie which I remember watching in the theatre was the movie Kaash, starring Dimple Kapadia and Jackie Shroff with a small boy who wants to spend his last days with his estranged parents. He dies, but unites his parents again. I was very touched to watch that movie and till date it remains one of my favorites.

Other movies, which are my all time favorites and which I can watch over and over again are Amar Akbar Anthony, Saagar, Aandhi, Guide, Seeta aur Geeta, Anand, Namak Halal, all Hrishikesh Mukherji movies (Golmaal, Mili, Chupke Chupke etc.) from the older lot. I couldn't watch them when they were released as I was not born then, but I watch them on VCD now.Dil Chahta hai, Hera Pheri, Jo jeeta wohi sikandar, Dilwale dulhania le jaayenge, Dil to paagal hai, tezaab are all masala movies, which I enjoy watching. Being a Maharashtrian, I enjoy all the Ashok Saraf, Laxmikant Berde, Vikram Gokhale movies. I am very proud to mention here that marathi movie "Shwaas" made it to the Oscars. The level of marathi movies has increased tremendoulsy and the variety of themes which are brought up in the movies nowadays amazes me!

Back to Bollywood.

Of the recent lot, which I consider as brainless, yet who have high USP values are movies like Singh is King, Welcome, Housefull, All the best, Namastey London, Golmaal, Chachi 420.

Chak de was a movie which I thoroughly enjoyed watching with my friends in the cinema hall. We cheered for team India as if we were watching a real match. We clapped, we whistled, we shouted. Oh, what fun it was! I do not remember having enjoyed any movie like I have enjoyed this.

Due to 100s of channels on the cable network now, almost all blockbuster movies are shown on television in 4-6 months. The pirated version of the movies is in the market even before the movie releases. It is indeed sad that people do not go to watch movies in the cinema hall anymore, no attraction is left for the same. One of the reason for such a downfall is also the steep increase in the ticket rates. I remember watching movie in my hometown, Dombivli for Rs. 40 in Balcony and now a ticket in PVR gold class at least costs Rs. 600/-. Middle class can't afford to spend so much on a movie and hence they prefer watching the movie on a smaller screen and for almost free!

The larger than life image depicted in the movies lures many a youth to the magical city of Mumbai. And then when they land here, they realize, life is not simple. There are constant struggles, fierce competitions to remain in the rat race of glamour. Many people lose it and only a few like Amitabh Bacchan, Rajnikant make it to the top.

Movies address problems in our day to day life and are also a medium of creating awareness. But movies also propagate violence and crime etc. Clean family entertainers with a good social message are rare to find tody and I am waiting for one such movie which will take me back to the cinema hall.

Are you also waiting for the same?

Always accessible

Last Saturday, I was checking out something on my Nokia E 63.

I kept pressing the number 0 for a long time and I realised that I got connected to internet and the google page opened on my mobile. I was jubilant for a moment and I quickly checked my gmail account and also checked out the cricket score of the match which was going on b/w India and England! I did not know all this while that I could access internet on my cell. My joy however died in few minutes as I got bored of surfing on a small screen.

I thought, is it really worth it to be online and reachable all the time? Say on Facebook or google chat or yahoo chat? Or on office mails? Is it not a compulsive behavior to check mails every hour or every two hours? Am I really missing out on something by not using the laptop at all on a w/e? I am online on weekdays for office work. Then why don't I do something else on w/e?

I sincerely feel that my generation has become addicted to technology now. We have forgotten to make good use of the time that is available to us. Going out for a walk or going to a park, hanging out with friends or just relaxing by reading a book or by playing indoor games like Scrabble, cards etc. has now almost become extinct. Children are hooked to television and computers from a small age itself. I started using the mobile at the age of 21 and I am sure, my children will start using it in their cradle itself because that is going to be just another commodity for them, which was a luxury to me in my childhood.

How times have drastically changed!! Almost everybody has a mobile now. But we have gone away from our inner core or true self by using these ultra modern gadgets like mobile, i phone, laptop, palmtop excessively. We tend to interact less with real people and communicate more on chat and mails. Personal contact is becoming lesser day by day and they say world is getting closer and closer. In what sense? Everything is available at the click of a button. Can this computer sing lullabies in your grandmom's voice? Or can your cell bring your best friend in front of you in flesh and blood so that you can talk your heart out to here?

I am not saying that we should stop using these gadgets and go back to stone age. No, these gadgets help us in keeping ourselves updated about what is happening around us and also helps us to make personal progress and social progress on a whole. But the use of such gadgets has to be limited and they shouldn't become so important that they start ruling us instead they being at our disposal.

I now tend to forget that internet is accessible on my cell and concentrate on using my time on w/e more constructively by writing something like this.

:-)

Do you agree with my thinking that technology commands us nowadays? Or you are still the blessed one, who says no to surfing and chatting when it is not really needed and has his/her own private world without gadgets and where it is just you and your heart?

I would like to know your thoughts on this too!!

Nature strikes back

It happened again..

This time in Japan.

An earthquake followed by Tsunami, which has left many people dead and homeless and many people are still missing. Tall buildings have been razed to ground, there is water everywhere, the oil refinery in the city is on fire and the nuclear plants are in a great danger. A loss of crores of rupees plus the loss of precious human life was rather uncalculated and unasked for. People are struggling to come to terms with this sudden change in their lives, where everything just vanished in a second and turned the things upside down.

Now an alert for a tsunami is also given to the neighboring countries and people are waiting and watching.. What next? or rather who next?

It is indeed sad to see innocent people caught unawares by this fury of the nature, but somewhere, I think, nature seeks balance and harmony and has it's own way to achieve it.

Over-population, depleting natural resources, global warming etc. are all man made phenomenon. Trees are mercilessly cut down and tall sky scrapers take their place. There are jungles of concrete buildings everywhere and earth is getting hotter day by day as the ozone layer is becoming thinner day by day. The snow in the artic is melting and the water levels are rising in a very alarming manner.

What are we doing to do something against all this? Nothing much. Planting trees and reducing the carbon emission is definitely in our hands, isn't it?

Why don't we take a lesson from this natural calamity and do a little bit towards preserving nature and in turn help is preserving our race? We are not above nature and we can't surpass it even though we earn a lot of money and status. We should always keep in mind that human life is ephemeral and it does not even take a millisecond to be gone forever.

So, let's wake up and do something to make this world a better place! 

Women power

Hello people,

Today is International Women’s day and the celebrations are on in almost all corners of the world for the same. Personally I do not think that women are someone, who are to be celebrated only once a year. Every new day brings new challenges to her and she celebrates the triumphs on those problems almost every day.

My husband wished me today and then my best friend Koustubh sent me a very nice message wishing me a very happy women’s day.  How nice is the feeling when someone so close makes you feel very special.

Today, I would like to take an opportunity here to salute a few women whom I have met in my journey till date and who have taught me valuable lessons of life, which no book can ever teach. These are not famous personalities or super women or feminists, but they come straight out of mundane and ordinary lives and this ordinary nature of theirs has brought out the extra-ordinary in them.

Here goes:

First and foremost, my mom, she is full of life and laughter and she is child at heart. She loves trekking and meeting people. She has been a patient listener and sees only the brighter side of every problem. She has been my constant source of strength and there is no way that I can ever repay her in this life. I sometimes even wonder, when I become a mother, would I do all this to my kid what my mother has been doing so relentlessly all these years?

My mom derives her strength from her mother, my maternal grandmother, who raised my mom and my mama single handedly. In those days, it was very difficult to raise two kids with a meager income. But she did that and with what grace! She travelled almost the whole world, is well read and very much active in her eighties. She dots on me a lot and wants the best for me. I sometimes wonder what are these oldies really made of? They never seem to get tired.

My father’s mother is 86 years old. She gets up at 4:30 am even today and can cook for 15 people single handedly. Kitchen is her world and she loves feeding people. She derives some sort of satisfaction when she sees people eating to their heart’s content. She sends me my favorite, her famous branded chivda every time someone comes to Bangalore. She has raised me and given me all the love and care and I am really fortunate to have 2 grandmothers in my life who are so different from each other, yet strong and influential in my life.

My neighbor, Mrs. Nayak, whose life revolves only around her sons and husband. Though she was graduate in her times, she chose to take care of her house and family. She cooked best of dishes for her children and saw to it that everybody studied and became good and responsible citizens and sons. She shaped the life of entire family with her care and efforts and she never complained once. Looking at her, I am stupefied, how can one be so selfless in giving without expecting anything in return?

My mother-in-law is a gem of a person. She always smiles and her face is always bright and lit up. She is very patient and understanding and she is ever ready to help people. She also chose to be a home maker, did a small business while she raised my husband and his brother. She loves cooking and the culinary ideas which come to her make me go bonkers and I can never imagine that something wonderful can be made from a very ordinary looking ingredient.

My best friend Koustubh’s mother retired from AI and she has raised Koustubh and his elder sis on her own. She has had a lot of physical problems, but she is always smiling and willing to help. Whenever I meet her, I feel like meeting my own mother. She cares a lot for her children and is ready to adjust her life for her children. Their happiness means the world to her.

My friend Snehal’s mom, who is no more, but who fought with Cancer for 16 years with great determination and strong will power. She took many chemotherapies, which were quite painful, but never ever the zest of living lower a bit. She left this world in peace. May her soul rest in peace. Snehal is now married and is carrying on very bravely. She misses her mom at every stage of life, but I am sure, she is somewhere blessing Snehal.

My anju mavshi, who is damn intelligent and has worked in almost all leading software companies. She is simple, down to earth person who does not have any air about being settled in the US and being extremely well off. She is a house maker now, looking after kids and family and enjoys being at home. She likes travelling and reading and she is very soft spoken. I feel a lot of warmth in her and she makes me feel extremely proud of her!

Oh, what are mothers really made of? God, what was really in your mind when you made all these wonderful ladies and mothers??

Is this more sounding a tribute to mothers than women? But how can a woman be complete without becoming a mother? It may not be the ultimate aim in a woman’s life, but motherhood certainly chisels her personality and brings out the best in her.

Hasn’t god made women to nurture, share, care and bring a new life to this world? Why is my generation forgetting this and trying to be like a man or even be better than him, forgetting the basic purpose of her existence? I am not saying that women should sit at home and look after kids and neglect her talents and intelligence. But being tender, emotional is her true self and that exactly makes her different from a man. She need not be ashamed of being emotional and sentimental and physically weak. That is the virtue of a woman, is what I believe. You may chose to differ.

A man and woman complement each other. They can never be like each other or surpass each other. They have to co-exist and that too in harmony. Ok, enough of my preaching now, isn’t it?

I would also like to make a special mention of my friends here. Swati Pandit, Tejaswini Sikka, Gauri Vaidya, Meenal Phatak, Vrishali Kajarekar, Deepali Aitawade and all my friends from work (Priyanka, Sonal, Ruchita, Sagarika, Deepa Joshi, Aabha Karmarkar, Snehal Oke, Rini, Ranjani, Ritu Suri) who are managing their personal and professional lives with a great balance.

Happy Women’s day, dear ladies!!!

You rock the world with your simple yet powerful demeanor.

Dil se

What do you generally like doing on an evening, where you just want to engage with yourself?

Drinking brewing coffee or hot ginger tea

Eating onion rings (kandaa bhaji) or samosas

Listening to songs of Kishore da, Asha tai and Gulzar or listening to ghazals or any instrumental music or watching funny, bone tickling comedy movie

Reading books like P. S. I love you or Love Story or Deepak Chopra's Who will cry when you die

Viewing photo albums of school or college days. I am not talking here of the digital pics here, but the ones which our parents clicked, innumerable of them which captured all the moments and fun we had as kids and our parents still consider them as their greatest possession. It was indeed the trend till the digital boom invaded our lives and pushed those albums and black white photographs into oblivion.

Reading old hand written letters by a friend or a relative. You might be wondering, in this age of e-mails and web chats, who writes letters? But, my aaji writes letters to my mavshi, who is in US and mavshi replies to those letters as she knows very well at this age, aaji won't be able to write e-mails or do web chats. My mother-in-law wrote letters to me before I got married. We got to know each other better through letters as that time my mother-in-law was not techno savvy. My father-in-law has also written a letter to him after he visited us in Bangalore after the wedding for the first time and when we bonded really well. My mavshi, who was just 1 yr older to me also wrote me letters from Pune when we both were in college. I really enjoy reading those letters now and re-visit those days which have etched permanently in my memory.

Making greeting cards, book marks and candles for my friends on their special occassions. I might not be making cards as good as Archies, but there is a personal touch in my cards and many good wishes and blessings which often do not come out that properly in a card which we buy in the shops. Bookmarks in the books of my friends remind them of me and that is a very good chance to be in each other's thoughts and prayers, isn't it?

Talking to a friend, who has been out of touch for a while now works wonders too. Just thinking about the lovely bond which we shared at that time and the wonderful time which we spent together in those days freshens us up and gives us a new energy and lease of life. Talking or rather sharing helps us in releasing a lot of pent up emotions and it also aids in healing mental worries, which do not really have any physical form of medicine in today's modern world. People, who do not think talking is a tonic, please excuse me. You need to really have someone to open up your heart to and then tell if talking is really a waste a time or something else.

I asked Atul about his "Dil se" moments and he instanteously replied "Sleeping"...
My enthusiasm of asking him that question ended that very moment. Then he added, he would go for a walk in the evening, just like that without having any aim of going somewhere in particular. Yes, I second him on this. I like it too, to just go for a walk in the park or an area which has lot of green lushy trees and watch people in the park or listen to the sounds of birds and feel the cool evening wind. That suddenly makes me relaxed and unwind.

So friends, these are a few things which I really like doing..

Dil se

What are your Dil se moments??

Aage badho

I had a bad day today..

Seriously..

My maid left me in lurch in the morning after I paid her the salary yesterday for last month. She wouldn't even take my call to tell me the reason for her sudden exit like this. She left me wondering, am I that bad or unimportant that she wouldn't even feel like talking to me? I have to now think of an alternate maid who comes in the morning before I go to office. So, it was not a very pleasant feeling to start the day with.

I went to the office and god knows why I thought of installing the MS Office 2007 version on my laptop and while doing so, I lost all the data in the sub-folders which I had created. I searched everything possible on earth to get them back and so did the IT guy, but just couldn't retrieve anything. My blood pressure rose and head started aching.

To make it even more exciting, I got an esclation mail for a certain document which I had translated. The reviewer was not very happy with the choice of vocabulary I had used and so I had to spend 2 good hours on that document to make it the way he wanted it.

At 5 pm, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I went for tea to the cafeteria with my dear friend Tejaswini and while sipping tea, it suddenly struck me..

Why the heck am I ruining my mood and health for something over which I do not have control?

Yes, all this while I was reacting in a very negative way to these so-called challenges which posed before me today, out of the blue. Instead of brooding over why it happened and how it happened, I should move ahead and take care that these things do not happen in future (I am talking here about the office problems in specific). Escalations do happen and we ought to learn out of them and not get sad and resign from our lives. It is actually not that bad, I thought., it is not the end of the world. In life, instead of getting stuck on what happened in the past, one should look forward to the present and the future and avoid repeating the same mistakes of the past.

Stumbling, falling, getting hurt and then getting up with determination to move ahead bravely are all different phases in life which make us tough and strong which make us ready to face any challenge with smile and confidence.

I said to myself and patted on my back, oye koi gal nahi, bade bade shehro main, aisi choti choti cheeze hoti rahti hain, aage badho, aage badhne ka naam hi zindagi hai!!

kya khayaal hai doston?