01 September 2012

The show must go on


 I was 10 years old when Lele kaka came to stay in my building.

We stayed on the ground floor and he had purchased a flat on the 2nd floor from Mr. Alurkar, who was staying there previously. Sudhakar kaka was a Chartered Accountant and had just started his practice. He was a bachelor yet and his parents were staying in Gujrat, where they were teachers. He was staying here alone and had a job in Mumbai. He was a very quiet and humble person, very soft-spoken. He talked to my grandparents with great respect and considered my parents as his brother and sister-in-law.

In a year or two, he got married and brought home his lovely wife, Dina, who was a freelance architect. They both got very close to my family and our family invited them to all the festivals, occasions, big or small. We became a close-knit extended family. My joy knew no bounds when I got to know that I am going to be a Tai to a little baby, which the Leles were expecting soon. A beautiful baby girl was born to them and I immediately felt responsible and big.

Leles named her Aparna and I became her Deepa tai. I played with her, fed her, even put her to sleep. Her parents even took my suggestion while putting her into school. I often accompanied Dina Kaku to school to bring Aparna home. I also went to the annual functions of her school, where I was invited every year. I never felt the pangs of being an only child, once Aparna was born. She gave me all the love and respect, which I always yearned from a sibling.

Aparna was a bright child, extremely intelligent and she was not only just studious, but she excelled in extra-curricular activities too. She showed me the report card every time, she stood first and also gave me all the updates of activities going on in the school other than studies. I was actually seeing myself in her and was very happy at her success.

I passed my 10th boards and got into the Arts stream. I had a passion for languages and took up German as a foreign language. I got busy in college, later MA, and then got into a job in Bangalore. But all this while, the Leles was always there for us and we stood for them in each and every event of happiness or sadness in their lives. I never forgot to wish my little sister on her birthday. One year it so happened that I was in Germany on a scholarship during her birthday and I called her from there. She was moved to tears and so was Dina Kaku. I told them distance doesn't really matter. Even though the call to India cost me a lot in my student days, I was not bothered about it. I was happier that I brought a smile on Aparna's face.

I got married and got busy with my routine, but Aparna always kept me abreast of what was happening in her life. We talked on the phone, we chatted online. I gave her tips during her German exams. Yes, she also started learning the language to be on a safer side. She had not chosen to follow the trend of getting into MBBS or Engineering even after scoring brilliantly in 12th boards. She chose to do graduation in Microbiology and took up language too. I was her guide and mentor and helped her in every possible way.

I was expecting my first baby and broke the news to Leles too. How could I not let them know about it? They treated me as their own daughter and they were extremely happy to learn about it. My mother had come over in the initial period and she was constantly called Dina kaku to inquire about Sudhakar kaka's health. He was in the hospital for a long time and I was wondering, what is that which is holding him for so long in the hospital? My parents did not tell me anything about the seriousness of his health because they thought it would affect my health in this delicate condition. But only when I was adamant to know, I learnt that he was diagnosed with blood cancer and it was in the last stage. For a minute, I couldn't believe my ears. Sudhakar kaka and blood cancer? That is impossible. That can't be. God can't be so stone-hearted to give such a good and wonderful human being such a nerve-wracking disease.

Aparna was at his side every single day. Her dad meant the world to her and she was always her dad's girl. He fulfilled every single wish of hers and she made me proud by getting excellent marks in almost every exam. I did not have the courage to call her and talk to her. I just inquired about his health by sending SMS daily. She replied promptly, but I could sense that she was losing the courage slowly as he showed no signs of improvement. I was hoping for a miracle and was believing in one, but then this time, God has his way and he snatched Sudhakar kaka from all of us. My dad was broken. He considered him as his younger brother and he had lost his confidant and friend and great support. He was much younger to my dad, but they bonded so well all these years.

I got to know about Sudhakar kaka's demise from my mom who was with Aparna and Dina Kaku in the hospital. Aparna wanted to talk to me and whatever she told me, I can never ever forget in my life. She was 14 years younger to me, but that time she became my Tai. She told me, "Tai, dad is no more with us. It is good in a way that he did not have to bear the pain anymore. His condition was just not bearable. Even we were in pain seeing him like this. Please do not think much about it. You are in a delicate condition. You need to be happy. Please do not cry. Be strong". I kept the call and started crying. Suddenly, this little girl of mine had become so big to tell me not to cry and be strong? Hats off to her! Really. I paid my homage to Sudhakar kaka from Bangalore itself and was a little sad that he will not be able to see my little one when he comes in this world.

I later learned from my parents that 100s of people turned up to take a last glimpse of Sudhakar kaka and Aparna and Dina Kaku did not shed a single tear when he started his last journey to the cremation ground. He was taken to the electric crematorium and within seconds Sudhakar kaka was not there amongst us physically. I couldn't meet him for one last time, but then there are things which are beyond our control. When I went to my home-town after a month, I was happy to see Aparna and Dina Kaku in their usual spirits, laughing and talking and being extremely normal. I was feeling very different in facing them after the demise of Sudhakar kaka, but they both seemed to have taken this loss in their stride, which is actually wonderful on their part. Instead of crying over the lost person, it is good to remember the good time spent with him/her and lead a life with good memories. The mother and daughter duo were exactly doing that. I did not feel for a single moment talking to them that Sudhakar kaka was not amongst us now. I felt as if he is out for some work and will anytime come back from office as he usually does.

I am sure he is smiling and showering all his love and care and blessings from up above. Aparna surely misses her dad, but that has not stopped her from going out with friends and enjoying life as a last year college student would usually do. She keeps herself updated with the latest fashion trends and likes to have the latest technological gadgets. She has not lost her focus and concentration on studies due to personal loss. Dina kaku keeps herself busy with her assignments and has accepted the reality that she will have to put up a brave face for her daughter who has her whole life ahead. Dina Kaku and Aparna are now even closer to me, my parents and grandmother and we all miss Sudhakar kaka very much on all our important occasions.

I have seen people waste away their lives in thinking about why their loved ones leave them suddenly like this. They forget to live their present while thinking of the past and here are Aparna and Dina Kaku who have put their greatest loss in the past and are smilingly looking at the future with of course Sudhakar kaka's memories and blessings.

I wish every person gets strength like these two wonderful and strong ladies!

The dilemma

My mother-in-law left for Pune today after spending two and a half months with us in Germany. And suddenly the house seems empty without her...