Use it or lose it

Today, on the 9th of June is my paternal grandfather's death anniversary. Even after so many years of him not being around, I still remember him to be the most active person I have ever seen in my life. With modest beginnings and a humble background,  he rose to great heights in his professional life. After retirement instead of slowing down and withering away,  he chose to be active, go for a walk, do exercises and Pranayama at home and always had a control on what he put in his mouth. I don't recall him ever eating outside food. It was also not very common in the early 90's to eat outside as it is today. Whatever my grandmother prepared,  he ate it without any complaints. Less oil, less salt, less spice was his mantra. Till the very end, he had all his teeth intact. He never had to go to a dentist in his life. He slept early and woke up early. He had no health issues. The last days after he had a fall were bed-ridden and he passed away peacefully at home admist all of us. I was not even in the 10th standard that time and I lost my biggest supporter and cheerleader quite early in life. 

Both my grandmothers lived up to the age of almost 90 and they both were mobile till the very end, except the last days of being ill and passing away. They were constantly doing some household chores, actively reading newspaper or solving the word puzzle. Thankfully they didn't have much exposure to the mobile phone as much as my parents and in-laws and we have. 

What changed with our parents generation? Why are they weaker and less active than our grandparents? I almost constantly keep on telling my dad to move more and sit less often and he seldom listens to me. He has already broken his hip bone and has been operated and has some health complaints. Sitting all the time makes muscles weak and the body just knows one truth, use it or lose it. My mom comparatively is more active than my dad. But I have seen her turn into a gullible and anxious woman from a super confident woman who worked all her life, went trekking into the Himalayas and Everest Base Camp, boarded the train at Dombivli during and peak times and went to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus for her job and returned home with the same enthusiasm in the evening.

After the age of 70, the decline in the mass muscle is rapid and if you look around at the airports, it's always the Indian parents who are on wheelchairs in large numbers. Their kids out of love and care for the parents and wanting to give them less trouble book wheelchairs without hesitation. But it's not something that we kids should be proud of. We should rather inquire into the fact, why is it so. What should we do to help our parents be mobile and healthy till the very end?

Where do you imagine yourself once you cross 70? I totally understand that the life in India is hectic and stressful and there is no time to invest in health and healthy habits. But in order to live a healthy life till the last years, it is extremely important to keep your muscles trained and ready for later years. A simple calf raise after meals help regulate blood sugar and a great amount of glucose is absorbed into the legs, calves and hamstrings if we do calf raises regularly. There is no complusion to go to the gym outside, which could be intimidating for many senior citizens. With the help of water bottles, cans, packets of pulses and grains, basic strength exercises can be done easily. Next time you see your parents, introduce them to simple exercises like chair squats, calf raises, shoulder presses and rows. Indian meals are devoid of protein, introduce some protein to their meals and see the difference in few months. Muscles can be trained at any age, irrespective of gender.

Walking, yoga, Pilates, swimming, cycling and any other form of aerobic exercise is good for the heart and please understand that it won't train your muscles as much as strength and resistance training. Women who claim to exercise by walking and doing yoga are only fooling themselves. 

To maintain independence in daily life, it is important to train the body in a functional way.

- Lower body strength (glutes, hamstrings, back) is essential for basic movements such as getting up from a chair, toilet seat, sofa or bed.

- Upper body strength (arms, shoulders, back) enables you to reach, lift and safely bring down the items from cupboards or kitchen shelves. 

- Overall upper body and grip strength is needed for tasks like carrying groceries, pulling objects towards you or handling everyday loads.

In summary, strength training is not just about fitness, it directly supports everyday activities, mobility and long-term independence. 

Our bones and muscles can take as much weight as we train them to. If we sit away all the time and don't train our muscles and bones to lift, they lose the strength and then our pace and agility decreases and movements get restricted. 

If we want to change our future when we are 70, we must take up strength training. I am more than convinced of the benefits that it will bring and I train at home with dumbbells, kettlebells and resistance bands. I also take care to have protein rich food and good sleep along with it. Every woman after 40 should take up strength training for her own good. It helps alleviate the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause and helps in many other ways to build a strong and healthy body. 

Living in Germany, I don't want to be dependent on anyone till the very end. And I am investing this time for the next 20-30 years by working out sincerely and consistently, no matter what.  I want to do trips with my girlfriends, play with my grandkids. I want to have a good health span rather than a long unhealthy lifespan. 

What are you investing your time into?

Do you see yourself in a wheelchair at the age of 70 at the airports or hiking in a mountain?

What you do now is going to determine your future.

Pick up weights, resistance bands and start training...

Spiritual event at Welchi Restaurant

I know Prachi Karekar since my days in Stuttgart,  back to 2013. She has always been a kind, loving and affectionate person and was passionate about food. She was a home baker and many people in Stuttgart knew her due to her culinary skills.

She was a part of the  online Adhyatmavari group that I run for different spiritual activities. When my mother in law was here in 2023, she had offered to teach two easy Adhyay (12 and 15) from the Bhagwad Geeta and Prachi was one of her students. After the two Adhyay got over, she and two other friends of mine learnt the recitation of all the 18 Adhyay with her online, once my mother in law went back to India. 

At that time Prachi had a lot of things going in her life with taking care of the little one to going to a restaurant for cooking, managing the house and still keeping in touch with the daily lessons online. Kudos to her dedication and commitment. 

When she started her own restaurant with such a beautiful name Welchi (it means Cardamom is the Marathi language), my joy knew no bounds.  I congratulated her and always wished to take my mother in law to the restaurant whenever she visits me.

We had that chance on the 24th May, where a few friends of mine gathered at her restaurant for a spiritual event. When I approached Prachi with the idea, she literally cried and told me that no matter we will do the event. I was not sure if it would be a good idea to do a spiritual event at a restaurant and if people would be interested to come on a Sunday morning. I planned the event as to what could be do or chant and conveyed it to Prachi. She was more than happy. She immediately designed a Satwik menu and sent it to me. I didn't have any choice but to say yes to all the lovely things she was going to prepare. 

Four of us would be traveling from Karlsruhe to the restaurant and four friends were going to come from around Stuttgart. 

We gathered at 10:30 am and after initial chitchat and tea, we started the session with chanting the Ganpati Stotra followed by Maruti Stotra, Ram Raksha Stotra and Ram naam Mahatmya. 

Then I gave a brief overview about the Bhagwad Geeta and the key takeaways for me from it. We chanted the 9,12 and 15th Adhyay after that. Yasha, co-founder of Adhyatmavari group put forth the interpretation of 2 Shlokas from the 3rd Adhyay, Karmayog. I took up one Shlok from the 9th Chapter and tried to explain the deep meaning behind it. My mother in law talked about the 16th Adhyay where she explained the good and bad virtues in a human being and how a few bad virtues overpower many good virtues and how should one try to keep the bad virtues at bay. We concluded with doing the Ram Naam Jap. 

The atmosphere was blissful,  peaceful and after a two minutes silence, we all got back to the worldly affairs. 

The menu was prepared with lot of efforts and love. Prachi, her family and her staff served us the food with lot of affection. The food was delicious and we enjoyed every single dish from the menu. Bharli vaangi and Amrakhand were the highlight for me. 

With our stomachs and hearts full, we said goodbye to Prachi and blessed her with many more beautiful years serving people with food that she prepares with so much love and passion. A photo of the participants was a must at this stage.

The restaurant had positive vibes and the spiritual event enhanced it further. Chanting, recitation not only helps you connect with your inner voice, but it also soothes your nerves and calms you down.

Here's wishing Prachi the best in her endeavors at Welchi and a big thanks to everyone who made this event successful by their presence and participation. 

Applied Vedant Retreat

Stillness

Calmness

Profound Gratitude

Wholeness

Tranquility

These words aptly describe the state of my mind, when the two days spiritual Retreat on Applied Vedanta concluded in Frankfurt yesterday (19th April) evening. 

The two day Retreat planned by Sampada and her husband along with help of their friends and well-wishers was top notch. We were blessed to have speakers like Shri. Pramod Dada and Sau. Mukta Tai Walvekar, the disciples of Doctor Kaka (from Murgud) and Shri. Kenan, teacher and practitioner from the Iyengar School of Yoga. 

The philosophy of Adwait Vedanta has been since a long time extremely high level and complicated to understand for a common man. Various literature is available in various Indian languages on this philosophy. The most famous and known is the Bhagwad Geeta. There are various interpretations and commentaries of Bhagwad Geeta and a majority of those do not come down to the level of a common man to help them understand the concepts like "Brahman", "Consciousness", "Samsara", "Bhaktiyog", "Dnyanyog", "Karmyog" etc. Doctor Kaka has given a lot of lectures in the earlier days about these very concepts and now his lectures have been translated into many Indian languages. The most profound book of his that I came across was the interpretation of Bhagwad Geeta in a simple language that I could understand. Thanks to Sampada for introducing me to the vast literature on various topics and particularly the interpretation of Bhagwad Geeta caught my attention and I think I have found my way to tread on this Dnyanmarg. 

The same concepts from Doctor Kaka's teachings were woven into the Retreat's lecture series and having being exposed to these concepts earlier, the retreat helped to gain a deep understanding of the concepts and their application in day to day life. 

Pramod Dada's style of imparting that deep knowledge was fun, replete with humour, sarcasm and jokes, making a very profound point, yet sounding very much like the common people. 

Mukta Tai's style on the other hand was more introspective, to the point, concise, precise, keeping us interested till the last word.

The session on the famous Shloka from Adhyay 2 

Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachana appealed to me a lot.

Also the session on the Shloka from chapter 15 

asaṅga-śhastreṇa dṛiḍhena chhittvā stayed with me for a long time.

The Sadhak Chintan, where the Sadhaks did a self-study,  interpreted and presented one Shloka from the Bhagwad Geeta was a revelation.

A chart paper was kept where we could write the words or phrases that appealed to us during the different sessions. That was a wonderful idea and by the end of two days, the chart paper was full.

You are not the body, you are much more.

Detached Engagement 

Attachment = Slavery

आसक्ती

सेवाभाव

Caught in the web

were some of the words and phrases that stayed with me after the sessions.

All the sessions were short and very refreshing. We started with Ram naam japa on both the days. Chanting of 12th Adhyay from Bhagwad Geeta collectively gave us mor energy. Breaks were planned keeping the short attention span in mind. The lunch was simple, filling the heart and the soul. During the breaks, we had the chance to interact with each other and of course with the esteemed speakers. We sat together like a big extended family, participating in a collective effort of discovering the age old philosophy.

 

We were at different levels in our spiritual journey, but that didn't really matter. The motive to get together for the Retreat was far more superior than anything else. The two days flew away fast and it was time to say goodbye. Doctor Kaka blessed us all by sending us good wishes for this journey and our eyes became moist of hearing his voice. At the end, Sampada ended the session beautifully with "Pasaydan", invoking blessings for universal peace, harmony, welfare and the prevalance of righteousness among all living beings.

This retreat definitely boosted my morale, reiterated my resolve to inquire and seek more knowledge. It helped me introspect and gave me a new perspective to tread on this path and it's just the beginning.

I wish that many such retreats happen in the coming years and we all do our little bit in taking this invaluable knowledge to more and more people.

My gratitude and love to everyone who made this Retreat happen!

Ram Krushna Hari!

Mahashivratra - A divine evening

The spiritual group that was established three years ago online is now well known in Germany and slowly getting attention in Europe. Due to the background of establishing and running the group, someone had approached me to check if Adhyatmavari group could host a lecture of Mr. Atul Dixit who is a disciple of Swami Madhavanand (Nath Sampraday) who was visiting Germany for a conference. I had offered to do an online session because we mainly meet online and there are not many group members in Karlsruhe to form a sizeable group to meet offline. So that lecture happened in Frankfurt where Marathi Katta arranged a session on a Sunday evening. I was not able to go but my dear friends Mr. Mahesh and Smita Parkhi had attended the session and they had loved it. I had missed the session unaware of what I had really missed until I heard Shri Dixit in person at my place on the occasion of Shivaratri at my place in Karlsruhe along with 15 other people. 

It was a great experience to hear such a humble, intellectual and learned person slowly elucidating the concept of Arpan Bhakti in the Advaita Vedanta Philosophy referencing from Dnyaneshwari, Tukaram's Abhang, Bhagwad Geeta, Surdas, Meerabai, Gopis, Bhagwan Shri Krishna and The eternal Bholenath. It was as if he was weaving a simple yet elegant carpet of concepts that we all know and are aware of and made us laugh and introspect and nod in agreement. It was a free flowing Nirupan on a concept that seems so elusive and difficult, yet is the ultimate destination of every soul that is born on this planet. 

After being on a flight from India to Frankfurt, jetlagged, tired, Shri Dixit was there sitting with us for three hours smiling and elaborating the concepts with easy to follow meaning, singing of Abhang and putting the philosophy of life into our perspective. An hour and a half just flew past and no one really knew that the session is over. We concluded with a session on Dhyaan Sadhana and he gave us some important tips to do Dhyaan Sadhana in our everyday, yet busy life. He also got us books written by Swami Madhavanand that would help us on our path of self-learning and self-exploration 

His dedication, Sadhana, self learning and Guru Krupa was evident in every way and we were truly blessed to have him personally at home for a group session.

The audience was mesmerized at the end of the session and they asked questions to which Shri Dixit in his calm and composed demeanor replied to every single of them. 

Special thanks to Mahesh for making this program possible, sadly he couldn't remain present due to a family emergency. But his wife very promptly helped me out with the preparations. Also thanks to Monika Deshpande for making tea to start the session and thanks to one and all who decided to attend the program though there were "many" other things to do than attend a spiritual session on a Sunday evening. Two people from the audience came from Stuttgart to attend the session and I really salute the dedication of those two girls. 

Last but not the least, a special thanks to my husband for picking Shri Dixit from Karlsruhe station and dropping him to the location near to Freiburg. He loves arranging the table (snacks and drinks) for the guests which he is extremely good at and was a great host to the audience. 

Bholenath blessed us all with the chance of meeting a great personality and being an audience and Sadhak of the simple yet profound philosophy of our Sanatan Dharma. 

Connections

After shifting to a new locality and new home, with new neighbours and new surroundings, my Indian genes suddenly got into action and I wanted to say hello to the immediate neighbours, who share walls with us. I was under the impression that us being the new owners would make such a great difference to them that we would be hosting tea parties and hold meaningful conversations that would make an impact on each others lives. But I was grossly mistaken. Me and my fantastic ideas of world communities singing in harmony. 

The neighbours to the left is a couple in their 60s who are on their own after kids have moved out of the house. They both are still working. I tried my best to engage into initial conversations with them, but it seemed very forced and awkward. Whenever I saw them working in the garden or while going out, I made it my ultimate motive in life to say hello to them, to be seen by them, to be recognised and to be accepted. But it was always one-sided, always initiated by me. I have no idea what was I even thinking while doing that. When I think about the episodes of our interactions, I think I made a fool of myself. When I think about it now, I really feel stupid. I was making a genuine attempt at being cordial, friendly and helpful. But it made no difference in their life interacting with me, even after spending an year as neighbours. Then I thought to myself, I should stop making a fool of myself. I should invest my energy somewhere else. They probably don't need my presence in their lives, they have better things to do in life. I left that at it and decided to back off and stop imposing myself on them. I made peace with it and now if we happen to see each other by accident, I wait for a reaction from the other side. If there is no reaction, I ignore and move ahead. 

The neighbours to the right are an Asian family of parents and two school going kids like my son. We hardly see them or hear their presence next door. In the span of a year, we have seen them 4 or 5 times when we or they were going out. So there's hardly any interest or interaction with them either. 

Now some people might be thinking, are you here to find friends in your neighbours, no body has that time and inclination nowadays to bond over tea. Everyone is busy with their daily routine. 

I agree.

But, I have also managed to find a few wonderful friends around. The first and most dearest is the owner of the handsome male cat called Polo for whom we are a second home and second family. We often meet for tea, chitchat and indulge ourselves in the motherly care and discussions about Polo, my son and her grandkids. The second woman is a teacher at Kindergarten and is drawn towards Hinduism and naturally we both had to connect. We often discuss about the world, peace, happiness etc. The third woman whom I have befriended is always mesmerized at the decorations that we do for different Indian festivals and finds it fascinating how we are always so welcoming and happy. I gave her the Diwali snack box and she hugged me very lovingly thanking me profusely. She then got us Christmas cookies before Christmas and sealed our bond. The fourth woman who is also interested in Hinduism has promised to meet me in person this year to talk more about it at length. 

The people experiences that I just talked about are all non-Indians. But the experiences with our own people are also amazing. In the past eight years, that I have spent here, I have realised that there are already many groups, sub-groups formed based on interests, languages etc. and that we as relatively new people shifting to Germany, don't stand a chance to become a part of their inner circle. People have priorities and you are not a part of it, period. The sooner I accepted it, the better it became for me. I am deliberately on a back foot now. I have stopped seeking validation from people who don't want to keep in touch. I stopped being adamant for trying to become like them and one of them. 

Why do we seek validation from people? It's a core desire of being human, I guess. But after going through last few years of spiritual practice, I came to realise that people who want to be connected with you will eventually connect with you, no matter what. And those who don't contribute to your spiritual/personal/collective progress will wither away. Spiritual practice and my spiritual group has helped me achieve that peace, that tranquility and that belief that it's only you who is responsible for your own happiness and that the higher power in which you believe will always have your back. 

Here's to more meaningful people and conversations in life!

The year that was 2025

2025 was the fastest year ever in my life from the Germany chapter. 

I have only two three topics to talk about in 2025. The first being the home sweet home. 

We shifted to our own home around mid January and suddenly it will be a year that we are staying in this wonderful place. It's warm, it's cosy, it's home, for the time being. 

It was not easy to be living in such a big house and maintaining it along with carrying out the daily chores. But my husband made it look easy and doable. We learnt to do so many things on our own, from managing the Gas therme unit to removing the overflowing water from the pump in the cellar. It made us self reliant, self sufficient and taught many things on the go. 

The second topic that kept me engaged was the Adhyatmavari group.

The spiritual movement that was started in March 2023 got bigger and made rounds on the social media where Maharashtrian people from many countries in Europe got to know about the Adhyatmavari group. Many new joined the movement, many old left, but it's part and parcel of life. A community was formed on WhatsApp and many new spiritual initiatives were launched. Many speakers including the revered Mr. Nilesh Oak spoke on the Adhyatmavari group forum. We should keep on enhancing the knowledge that we have to understand our spiritual history better. 

No matter how many people turn up or remain in the group, I think it's my duty to carry with it as long as I can. That's a यज्ञ (Yagya) that has been started due to the grace of Shri Ram and Shri Krishna and I will carry it out with my utmost capacity. 

The third topic that I have to talk about it is the Fitness routine which I could incorporate in my schedule, thanks to the grit and determination. The weight training has been a game changer and keeps me highly motivated thanks to the app called Hevy where I can log all my workouts. The progress that I have slowly made working out at home is a testament that working out need not always be in a fancy gym. If you have the will and the wish to transform yourself for a healthy and mobile aging, strength and resistance training will be the saviour. Motivating women post 40 to take up strength and resistance training has also been my focus this year.

Last but not the least, all my friends and family members who have been there with me during this wonderful time deserve a mention and an ovation. My parents were thrilled to see our beautiful house and stayed with us for some time to enjoy the nice weather and company. I could personally meet and connect more with friends who were only online and that was an absolute pleasure. I realised that I am a very boring person (have the same routine since months with no surprises or late night parties or binge watching) and there are many like me who enjoy my company, so that's not as bad as I had thought. And the two men in my life deserve a special thanks for letting me carry on with all the different activities that I do in my life and for also bearing my outburst sometimes. I am thankful for the beautiful people in my life. 

The year 2025 made a great impression on me.

It made me calmer. 

It helped me let things go easily.

It helped me realise that everything is temporary and that we are here to just play out our parts.

It made me come closer to myself, to my inner peace of mind and I love where I am today, this headspace and this tranquility. 

I am ready for 2026 and hope to make a little difference in this big world and continue with all the existing endeavours and also undertake new projects. 

Jai Shri Ram 

The family tree

Family...

What does this word invoke in your mind when you hear this word? Who comes to your mind first? Whom do you see standing there, smiling at you? 

For me, it's always my grandparents. They were my caretakers and whatever I am today, is largely due to their Sanskaras and teachings. And then are my parents, who brought me to this world and helped me become a good and responsible person. Next are my neighbours who were like family. As I had no siblings of my own, the neighbours were someone to whom I could always talk to and share things that couldn't be shared with grandparents and parents, mostly due to respect and fear. 

Staying far from India, we always miss the fun and company of our parents. T wanted to collect the photos of all his earlier generations as a remembrance and tribute to them. Then it struck me, to make a family tree with the photos of his great grandparents and grandparents so that they can be with us forever, at least in the photos and our memories. He loved the idea and decided to support me in executing it. T has had the good fortune to witness the love and blessings of 3 great grandmothers. He remembers them quite well and often asks me about the time I spent with my grandmothers. My childhood story is incomplete without my grandparents and I can't thank them enough for giving me all the love and attention. T's childhood has been also replete with his grandparents love and blessings. Though we don't see them often physically, WhatsApp has helped us to stay in touch with them in India. 

T started collecting the photos of his great grandparents because that was the connection that he has seen and experienced. My husband's paternal grandparents passed away when my husband was a teenager, so T and I have had no contact with them. With all other great grandmas, he has spent time as a baby.

Getting hold of the paternal great grandparents photos was a great task. In those days, it was not common to click family pictures. So T, along with my mother in law searched the whole house in Pune, and found the photos he was searching for. Also it was difficult to get hold of my maternal grandparents pictures. My mom's uncle had some old photos and we could somehow acquire the photo that we wanted. Photos of our parents (his grandparents) and his uncle was an easy task. 

T wanted to digitalise the photos so that they don't get lost like the photos in the olden days. He got all the photos printed from a nearby shop called dm after saving them on the Google Drive. The task of arranging all the photos in photo frames was fun, which we finally managed to do recently. T meticulously prepared the frames with the photos and then we arranged them in a logical order. 

From T's perspective:

The Dabke great grandparents are on the top left and on top right are Joshi (my mom in law's parents) great grandparents.

Then we have the picture of his Dabke grandparents (my in-laws) and his dad and uncle as kids in the middle.

Below that it's the Velankar great grandparents on the left and Karandikar great grandparents on the right. 

Then it's my picture as a kid with my parents. T thinks he has spawned himself in that photo. Resemblance between my photos as kids and his is very uncanny ;)

And then it's his parents and him in the last photo below. 

I had carefully clicked two pictures of four generations with T in it as the youngest, because somehow I knew that in future, a family tree would be in the making. We have them digitally, but are yet to get print outs of them. Those photos will soon adorn the wall, but till then the photos of our family members are sitting there on the wall, smiling back at us and blessing us. 

Though my grandparents are not with us anymore, they are often in my thoughts and I always feel blessed to be born as their granddaughter. I am sure they must be looking at us from somewhere and must be feeling proud of their great grandson who is very much rooted in the Indian culture, heritage and wants to keep them alive, in pictures and memories. 

I hope this family tree will be enriched with more photos and generations in years to come. 

Family...

Bonds of love, moments and memories that always stay on.