31 January 2018

To be or not to be



I got to know about a group called DIG (Deutsche-Indische Gesellschaft) from a friend in Karlsruhe, whom I had met in a Christmas market. It is a group of Indians and Germans (I think) who come forward to celebrate the Indian festivals during the year and they organize different events for getting Indian and German people together.

They kickstarted the year 2018 with Republic Day Celebrations and I wanted to attend it just to see how is it here? I took T along in the hope of finding small kids there to play with him. He came with me hoping to meet someone of his age. It was a good chance to socialize with Indian kids, I thought! He has lost the Indian touch, already I feel 😉

We both reached the venue. It was a hall of a community center and was good enough to accommodate 25-30 people. The managing team of DIG and their spouses and other regular members were there already, around 10 people and 2 Germans. We sang our national Anthem and a few patriotic songs. I stood there wondering about the feelings each person present here in the hall was going through. Were they missing India? Do they still have feelings for India after settling here and taking German citizenship here? Might be, might not be. I was missing something more for sure! Kids! I couldn’t see kids of any of the Managing committee members of any age group present for the event. I was little surprised and it set me thinking again.

Why were the Indian kids of Indian parents not present for the Republic Day celebration of their very own country? Why didn’t their parents get them here? Then it struck me, the kids were born into German culture and in this country, Germany and they naturally consider Germany as their country, their home. They have no emotional connection with India, the country of their parents and grandparents. They just go there for summer vacations, spend some time with family and relatives and friends and then come back “home”, which is Germany for them! They have their school here, friends here, after-school activities here! Why will they come for an event in which they can’t identify themselves at all?

We as parents, as couples move to different countries for better prospects and chances. We bring our children along with us, some kids are even born here. We teach them to be a part of this culture and engage them in activities, school etc. How can we expect them to be emotional about India when they have not spent much time there? Teaching about India and her varied culture at home through stories and rituals is a different thing and living in India and experiencing all that is totally different.

My generation has spent a major part of their lives back in India. Hence there are emotional connections with the country and the places. We have our parents, friends, ex-colleagues, memories of grandparents, native place, mango season, summer vacation over there and not here. But my kid will have different reference points and memories and lifestyle. He will regard Germany as his country and I feel bad about it sometime and sometimes I feel good that he has a better chance to shine individually here.

I will try my best to nurture a good and sensitive human being. Then the country and the boundaries hardly matter, I guess!


30 January 2018

Aaji



I held her hand for one last time.

I stroked her head for one last time.

Her hands were cold and numb, almost lifeless and her body was just bones covered with a thin skin layer.

And she was gone. Though she was breathing mechanically with the help of devices in the hospital, her soul had left her body and the doctor declared that she is no more. 

The dilemma

My mother-in-law left for Pune today after spending two and a half months with us in Germany. And suddenly the house seems empty without her...