There exist certain things in our society, our community, our culture, which are expected of women and men. Women are the nurturers, soft, caretakers, emotional. Men are considered to be robust, breadwinners, and practical. Girls play with dolls, and kitchen sets at home, and boys play outside with cricket balls and cycles. Girls cry easily, and it's justified when they cry as they are considered to be weak. But when boys cry, what is usually told to them? "Don't cry like a girl," "Are you a girl to cry"? "Be a man," etc. Crying is often considered a sign of weakness. But I have different views on it, and I tried to explain it to T today during one such incident.
He is a very active child, and he often jumps, hops around in the house. There are times when he falls, slips, and gets hurt. When something hits the wooden floor in the house, it makes a considerable sound, and my heart skips a beat when I hear a loud thud. I immediately rush to him and ask him if he is alright. There are times when he is actually hurt, but he doesn't admit it. He considers himself to be strong, which he is. But sometimes it happens that he is in pain, but doesn't want to show it. His eyes well up, but tears don't flow down his cheeks because he considers that tears might let others know that he is hurt and not strong, unlike a boy.
I tried to make him understand that it is ok to feel the pain and admit it. It's ok to feel bad about being hurt. It's ok to cry and let your loved ones know that you are not okay. It's not always necessary to pretend that nothing is wrong and everything is fine though inside it feels like you are crumbling down and you need support. He is just 8 years old. I am not sure how much he understood what I was trying to convey to him. But I wanted to let him know that it is human to get hurt, to feel bad, to cry, to emote, and to seek love and support from your loved ones. I don't want him to hide any emotions from me just because he is a boy. He has full liberty to express his hurt and pain to me. I will make sure that he understands that there is a way out of it, and that life is very unpredictable, yet beautiful.
This will definitely help him, in the long run, to identify his feelings and deal with them in a very matured way, I am sure.
He is a very active child, and he often jumps, hops around in the house. There are times when he falls, slips, and gets hurt. When something hits the wooden floor in the house, it makes a considerable sound, and my heart skips a beat when I hear a loud thud. I immediately rush to him and ask him if he is alright. There are times when he is actually hurt, but he doesn't admit it. He considers himself to be strong, which he is. But sometimes it happens that he is in pain, but doesn't want to show it. His eyes well up, but tears don't flow down his cheeks because he considers that tears might let others know that he is hurt and not strong, unlike a boy.
I tried to make him understand that it is ok to feel the pain and admit it. It's ok to feel bad about being hurt. It's ok to cry and let your loved ones know that you are not okay. It's not always necessary to pretend that nothing is wrong and everything is fine though inside it feels like you are crumbling down and you need support. He is just 8 years old. I am not sure how much he understood what I was trying to convey to him. But I wanted to let him know that it is human to get hurt, to feel bad, to cry, to emote, and to seek love and support from your loved ones. I don't want him to hide any emotions from me just because he is a boy. He has full liberty to express his hurt and pain to me. I will make sure that he understands that there is a way out of it, and that life is very unpredictable, yet beautiful.
This will definitely help him, in the long run, to identify his feelings and deal with them in a very matured way, I am sure.
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