I have recently joined two women's groups of Indian women in Germany. There are many interesting discussions and topics in these groups that make me feel happy. But there is a topic that is coming up again and again in these two groups: the physical abuse of women by their husbands and the domestic violence that the woman has to endure. These ladies post anonymously on the group, so we don't really get to know their names, and because we don't know their names or where they live, we can't offer any help. The posts on Facebook are just full of suggestions, "dos" and "don'ts," but beyond that, we don't know if that woman is safe, has found help, or has courage, and we can't offer any help because we don't know their names or where they live. This was quite shocking for me and the other ladies who have read such types of posts.
It pains me to the core. In a country that is relatively open and has many rules and regulations in place, Indian women feel trapped with their abusive husbands, and they lack the strength, the self-confidence, and the resources to come out into the public and demand help. She is entirely dependent on her husband, has no job, has to take care of the children, the kitchen, and the husband, doesn't know the language here, and has nowhere else to go. She can't tell her parents and make them worry about their daughter's future. It is ok if they have an illusion about their daughter's happy married life, but she won't ruin the rosy picture by telling them the truth. I can't imagine the mental trauma that these women might be experiencing. There have been instances where working women in Germany were also subjected to physical abuse by their husbands. So having a job or not, being independent or not, really doesn't matter in such cases. It's the animal instinct of their husbands or their mental imbalance that is really responsible for such a plight.
Many women don't want the children to suffer when they move out of the house, and just for the sake of their children, they are ready to suffer for their whole lives. Why? Why is it so difficult for a woman to move out of an abusive relationship? Why does she lack the courage, confidence, and belief that she can succeed without anyone's help? Support from an abusive partner isn't going to help her anyway. Still, why does she choose to silently suffer at her partner's hands?
These questions are inexplicable and unfathomable, but the truth is that there are women suffering all over the world, and this country is no exception. During Corona, I saw many advertisements on the radio and on tram and bus stations about a helpline (Gewalt gegen Frauen) to call in case one faces abuse at home, and that helpline was especially for women staying in Germany. Staying together 24x7, the cases of physical violence had suddenly increased, and the government was trying its best to help out such women.
I urge all the women reading my posts to not accept any kind of physical or mental abuse at the hands of their partners. If the relationship is so crooked, then it doesn't make sense to stay together in the first place. The kids won't be happy seeing their mother get battered every day, and that will have a very negative influence on their personalities in the future. It's important to get out, seek help, and seek the support of the parents back in India or any dear friend in Germany. You are beautiful as a woman, and you deserve every bit of happiness and security wherever you go. Recognize your own strength and potential, and refuse to accept anything less.
I found very interesting information that I would like to put up here for reference. It has all the information about where and how to seek help anonymously. I hope this gives strength to the women who don't know what to do and whom to approach.
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