When we moved to our new neighborhood in Germany, little did I know that the experience here was going to be way different than what I had in another city in Germany, four years ago. I didn't interact with a single person in that apartment, leave alone the neighbor. We never said hello to each other or talked to each other. But here, on the first day itself we got to know a few people in our apartment who were mostly aged, but very open minded and friendly. The lady (Ms. Dombi) who stays below my flat is from Romania and is 81 years old. She stays alone, she had a heart problem some years back. She has backache sometimes, but she is very much mobile and does her daily chores with more or less no problems.
I told her shortly after we moved that my son, T, is always jumping around the house and that she should excuse us for that. She laughed aloud and said to me, if he won't jump and play would you do it? It's his age and he has the very right to do that. Don't worry, I won't come up to complain anytime. Be rest assured. I felt a little better. I also told her about my 'Walk at home' workout which might disturb her, but she was fine with it too. I took an instant liking for this lady in whom I saw my own grandmom.
It so happened that whenever we saw newspapers or magazines in her postbox which for some reason remained uncollected, we took it to her and T liked giving it to her with his own hands. She thanked us profusely and I thought why not? We can at least see each other and I can know that she is doing well.
I had cooked Idly to give in T's Kindergarten as a celebration for Fasching. It was a lunch buffet and every parent was getting something or the other stuff. I also gave some of it to the grandma downstairs and she was pleasantly surprised. She accepted it and came up the following evening to return the bowl. She sat with us for sometime and played Uno with T.
We also talked a little and I asked her how does it feel to stay all alone here? She told me she stays alone from past 23 years. Her husband passed away 23 years ago and from then she has been on her own. She has got used to his loneliness, this peace, this individual pattern of life. She watched Television, read a lot of biographies of great men and went grocery shopping and passed her time. I told her that I feel lonely sometimes as I always compare the life here with life in India. And she just said one thing which opened my eyes. She said be thankful that your son and your husband are with you. You see them in the evening. They ring the bell and you get to see their faces. But no one knocks on my door, no one comes home. She was not complaining, she seemed completely at ease with her life as a single person and I admired her for that and it set me thinking.
I am not sure at this moment if I can be like her in 30 years, enjoying your own company, the solitude and the silence with almost no people in sight on a daily basis. Maybe yes, maybe not. I have a fallback plan in case I am not successful on that front. I can go back to my people and family and home in India and live life with and amongst people. The old age here, I find is very lonely and boring. I may be wrong, but I can't imagine myself in my neighbor's condition right now, for sure.
Time will tell and teach me!
Shall definitely keep you posted.
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