21st November 2017 to 21st November 2019
2 years' stay in Karlsruhe completed!
How were these two years?
Away from family and friends, with no job, no income, no friends in the beginning, and adverse weather, which only brought me to tears and self-deprecating thoughts. The spring of 2018 brought new hopes, new friends, new contacts, and a new life. But the inability to find a full-time job as a translator (something I always liked doing and wanted to pursue here in Germany), my self-confidence hit rock bottom. Depressive thoughts about what I am doing here? Why am I here? There is nothing good in my life, and I don't belong here started tormenting me. The Dabke boys were happy in their own world. They didn't realize that I was really at the lowest point in my life and that I needed help. I even sought the help of a doctor who gave me counseling sessions and gave me medicine to cope with negative thoughts. But I was not very keen on taking the help of medications. I knew I had to do something on my own. My loneliness, my sadness was my own demons. I owned them and clung to them and was not ready to think except for negative things.
Then something happened in June. Literally like a miracle, I came across a song related to Lord Rama. My mom was always his avid follower and disciple. I was away from all this, someone who didn't believe in God and his power. I was in my own world of a sad and lonely life. That tune calmed me totally. I listened to it multiple times in the day in a loop. I also started singing the song and chanting the name of Shri Ram. It took me into a trance where I forgot the misery around me. It took away the pain and the hurt and the negativity in my life totally. It opened new doors of positivity in my life. It brought me to new avenues of social life. I realized that no matter what, I needed people in my life, to talk, to care and share and spread happiness. I met a few good people who helped me come out of my shell. We went to see movies, met for tea and coffee, for chanting, for just chatting and sharing what's going on in our lives.
I realized that women across the world have the same problems. Same problems of neglect, taken for granted by other people in the family. They also get frustrated, sad, lonely, and want to run away alone somewhere. I was kind of relieved when I realized that I am not the only one who feels like this. I also realized that you are the maker and breaker of your own life. You can go deep down to the bottom or soar high in the skies. It's entirely your prerogative. If you are happy and content from within, it will reflect in your external life too. The season outside will change if the season inside is good. I had to hit the most significant low in my life to be able to reach great heights and soar in the skies. That lowest ebb in my life taught to bounce back, and I will never go there ever. That's a promise I have made to myself and my family.
It's a new beginning for a new me. It's like a new life, a rebirth for me. I will always look ahead. I thank that lowest phase in my life, which gave me new wings to fly. And the sky is the limit now!
Dear Zindagi, here I come!
2 years' stay in Karlsruhe completed!
How were these two years?
Away from family and friends, with no job, no income, no friends in the beginning, and adverse weather, which only brought me to tears and self-deprecating thoughts. The spring of 2018 brought new hopes, new friends, new contacts, and a new life. But the inability to find a full-time job as a translator (something I always liked doing and wanted to pursue here in Germany), my self-confidence hit rock bottom. Depressive thoughts about what I am doing here? Why am I here? There is nothing good in my life, and I don't belong here started tormenting me. The Dabke boys were happy in their own world. They didn't realize that I was really at the lowest point in my life and that I needed help. I even sought the help of a doctor who gave me counseling sessions and gave me medicine to cope with negative thoughts. But I was not very keen on taking the help of medications. I knew I had to do something on my own. My loneliness, my sadness was my own demons. I owned them and clung to them and was not ready to think except for negative things.
Then something happened in June. Literally like a miracle, I came across a song related to Lord Rama. My mom was always his avid follower and disciple. I was away from all this, someone who didn't believe in God and his power. I was in my own world of a sad and lonely life. That tune calmed me totally. I listened to it multiple times in the day in a loop. I also started singing the song and chanting the name of Shri Ram. It took me into a trance where I forgot the misery around me. It took away the pain and the hurt and the negativity in my life totally. It opened new doors of positivity in my life. It brought me to new avenues of social life. I realized that no matter what, I needed people in my life, to talk, to care and share and spread happiness. I met a few good people who helped me come out of my shell. We went to see movies, met for tea and coffee, for chanting, for just chatting and sharing what's going on in our lives.
I realized that women across the world have the same problems. Same problems of neglect, taken for granted by other people in the family. They also get frustrated, sad, lonely, and want to run away alone somewhere. I was kind of relieved when I realized that I am not the only one who feels like this. I also realized that you are the maker and breaker of your own life. You can go deep down to the bottom or soar high in the skies. It's entirely your prerogative. If you are happy and content from within, it will reflect in your external life too. The season outside will change if the season inside is good. I had to hit the most significant low in my life to be able to reach great heights and soar in the skies. That lowest ebb in my life taught to bounce back, and I will never go there ever. That's a promise I have made to myself and my family.
It's a new beginning for a new me. It's like a new life, a rebirth for me. I will always look ahead. I thank that lowest phase in my life, which gave me new wings to fly. And the sky is the limit now!
Dear Zindagi, here I come!
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