Will you be my valentine?

This is a topic that ought to have been written on 14th February, on the ever-green Valentine's day which is celebrated with a great craze all over the world.

But just like as I believe there is no one particular day to celebrate love, I chose to write my thoughts on this topic today. I happened to see the movie Baghban for the nth time and couldn't help rocking at the song, where Amitabh remembers his lady love, his wifey, Hema Malini. Seeing their bond on screen has always moved me. How can people be so much in love over a period of 40 years? They look like young couple, just fallen in love and share every thing, appreciate every small things in each other. They know when the other person is lying, crying, sad, even when they are away from each other. Whoaaa! I know it is too filmy, but I am sure there are such real life couples too!

What a feeling that is! I have seen many real life couples who have spent 50 yrs with each other and they know their partners inside out. They might have fought over trivial issues all their lives and even continue to do the same in the old age, but then the love and companionship is so evident in their eyes. At that time, love marriages were not common. Parents selected the groom and the girls got married. The unfolding of relations, habits, nature commenced only after starting the life together. They might not have gone for a movie together or held hands while seeing the sunset. Doing the duties and responsibilities towards each other and the family was love for them and more important than anything else. I do not think they had an idea of what romance was! But they were together in all situations, in all walks of life, without asking questions or expecting answers. Silence was not considered as something negative, non-expression of love was common. They seemed happy with each other and spent so many wholesome years together.

Cut to 2012.

1000's of girls and boys must have celebrated Valentine's day this year. Do they even know the meaning of love? Definition of love has now changed over the time. Now even a school going kid falls in "love". Love is now replaced with under-current meaning of lust, greed and enjoyment for the moment! Most of the people who celebrated valentine's day this year would have "broken off" from their so-called girl friend or boy friend and "moved on" and will get "hooked" with someone else next year. Why has love become so shallow and short-lived? Why has it changed so much over these years?

I am not saying the entire young generation has changed. There are many couples who might have decided to take things forward and might have got married. But then again how many such marriages have reached the 10 yr mark at least? Hardly.. Our patience has gone down, we are not ready to adjust day in, day out. If things don't work out, women walk out of the marriage very easily as many of them are financially independent now and can take good care of themselves. I am not blaming women entirely for this. Men are also equally at fault. Taking their wife for granted, spending less quality with them, running after money all the time are all men's domains.

I know that the initial years of any marriage, be it love or arranged are extremely slippery and require a lot of patience and understanding on both, husband's and wife's part. Both have to invest love, time, care, concern equally. Once the base is strong, then nothing else can shake their bond and I am sure even our grandchildren will have tales of our love-story to narrate.

I do not celebrate Valentine's day, nor does my hubby. We do not even wish each other that day. But we know in our hearts that we couldn't have got better partners. In 6 years of marriage, I have now come to realize that not expressing love, not buying fancy gifts does not mean that he is not concerned or loves me less. It is a mutual feeling and it definitely shows! I have now come to terms with it!

Rather than asking him if he will be my valentine (which is the usual trend), I will tell him, he better be!

:-)