The other day I had written how my cook didn't turn up and how I managed to cut out a nice rice dish along with dahi boondi etc. I was returning home in the office shuttle today and on my way home, I was just thinking what I could make tonite for dinner and there my hubby calls me to ask me if I can join him for a Pizza party at Pizza Hut with his colleagues. I happily said yes to it as it was my favorite destination. I spent rest of the time in the bus thinking which Pizza should I order and what should I drink etc.
I have always been on the heavier side of the weighing scale...
Right from childhood..
If you happen to see my pictures as a kid, you would understand what I mean. I loved eating biscuits, chocolates, ice-creams and bananas. My dad had a medical store and being the only child, he pampered me a lot. Also both my parents are very bulky and have a heavy bodyline. So that body structure has been passed on to me obviously. I got a prize in the healthy baby competition and the Parle Biscuit company wanted to cast me in their biscuit advertisement, but my grandparents did not fancy such an idea and refused outrightly.
When I started going to college, I had an extremely low opinion about myself, it was mainly due to being overweight. I thought I was not beautiful and had no close friends really. I was good in studies, which isolated me even more from the crowd. So until I passed out from the University with a MA degree in German, I was extremely low on self-confidence and self-image. Only when I started teaching German, did I move away from this negative self-image and it changed my life completely for good, of course!
On and off I was struggling with my weighty affairs. It was the same time when I met a few people in an internet group, who became very close friends and Atul, my hubby was one of them. He accepted me as I was, heavy and bulky, but who had a heart of gold (His view about me!!). I got married to him, came to Bangalore, years passed and then I thought of starting a family.
Whenever I met a doctor, he/she told me to reduce weight. I did everything possible under the sun to reduce weight. I took only buttermilk for 7 days, I did GM diet. I did another rigorous diet instructed by some doctor in Pune for 4 months in which I didn't eat rice, chapathi daal at all for 4 months. I ate only fruits, vegetables, juices etc. I reduced a lot in those 4 months, but somewhere deep in my heart, I was not happy. I was starving myself. This was my age of eating, enjoying life and not restricting myself on things that really gave me pleasure. I did not have my favorite cake on my birthday or Atul's birthday, couldn't enjoy the typical Maharashtrian lunch buffet at my brother-in-law's wedding. At what cost was all this happening? My thyroid levels were also a major contributor to the weight gain problem for which I started taking Allopathic medicines regularly!
I gave a thought to all the diets I did all this while and decided to stop abusing my body by doing finicky diets. My inner voice said. no matter what you do and how you do it, things happen only when they are bound to happen. So whenever it is a good time, I will surely become a mother. For something to happen in the future, about which I am not sure right now, why should I sacrifice my today and not enjoy it?
This Pizza Party brought back all those memories and I said.. It is ok to indulge in such pleasures once a while. Who is going to eat Pizza everyday? Everyday I eat only home cooked food and lots of fruits and vegetables and I also do Yogasanas and Pranayam to keep fit. My weight is still on the higher side and constant, but I do not feel tired and depressed and exhausted, which I think is very important! I laugh a lot, I have a sizeable number of friends, who take me as I am by nature and heart not and not by the way I look or appear to the outer world. It is very important to believe in yourself as a person and only then the whole world will look at you and believe in you is what I have learned in m struggle against weight!
So I let the fear of tomorrow vanish into the nice ambience of Pizza Hut and enjoyed yummy Simply Veg Pizza with a helping of Paneer El Rancho and Masala Lime juice with Atul and his colleagues!
What a wonderful evening!
I have always been on the heavier side of the weighing scale...
Right from childhood..
If you happen to see my pictures as a kid, you would understand what I mean. I loved eating biscuits, chocolates, ice-creams and bananas. My dad had a medical store and being the only child, he pampered me a lot. Also both my parents are very bulky and have a heavy bodyline. So that body structure has been passed on to me obviously. I got a prize in the healthy baby competition and the Parle Biscuit company wanted to cast me in their biscuit advertisement, but my grandparents did not fancy such an idea and refused outrightly.
When I started going to college, I had an extremely low opinion about myself, it was mainly due to being overweight. I thought I was not beautiful and had no close friends really. I was good in studies, which isolated me even more from the crowd. So until I passed out from the University with a MA degree in German, I was extremely low on self-confidence and self-image. Only when I started teaching German, did I move away from this negative self-image and it changed my life completely for good, of course!
On and off I was struggling with my weighty affairs. It was the same time when I met a few people in an internet group, who became very close friends and Atul, my hubby was one of them. He accepted me as I was, heavy and bulky, but who had a heart of gold (His view about me!!). I got married to him, came to Bangalore, years passed and then I thought of starting a family.
Whenever I met a doctor, he/she told me to reduce weight. I did everything possible under the sun to reduce weight. I took only buttermilk for 7 days, I did GM diet. I did another rigorous diet instructed by some doctor in Pune for 4 months in which I didn't eat rice, chapathi daal at all for 4 months. I ate only fruits, vegetables, juices etc. I reduced a lot in those 4 months, but somewhere deep in my heart, I was not happy. I was starving myself. This was my age of eating, enjoying life and not restricting myself on things that really gave me pleasure. I did not have my favorite cake on my birthday or Atul's birthday, couldn't enjoy the typical Maharashtrian lunch buffet at my brother-in-law's wedding. At what cost was all this happening? My thyroid levels were also a major contributor to the weight gain problem for which I started taking Allopathic medicines regularly!
I gave a thought to all the diets I did all this while and decided to stop abusing my body by doing finicky diets. My inner voice said. no matter what you do and how you do it, things happen only when they are bound to happen. So whenever it is a good time, I will surely become a mother. For something to happen in the future, about which I am not sure right now, why should I sacrifice my today and not enjoy it?
This Pizza Party brought back all those memories and I said.. It is ok to indulge in such pleasures once a while. Who is going to eat Pizza everyday? Everyday I eat only home cooked food and lots of fruits and vegetables and I also do Yogasanas and Pranayam to keep fit. My weight is still on the higher side and constant, but I do not feel tired and depressed and exhausted, which I think is very important! I laugh a lot, I have a sizeable number of friends, who take me as I am by nature and heart not and not by the way I look or appear to the outer world. It is very important to believe in yourself as a person and only then the whole world will look at you and believe in you is what I have learned in m struggle against weight!
So I let the fear of tomorrow vanish into the nice ambience of Pizza Hut and enjoyed yummy Simply Veg Pizza with a helping of Paneer El Rancho and Masala Lime juice with Atul and his colleagues!
What a wonderful evening!
dear, u hv described me....do u know tht???? this is me u r talking abt...exact probs...foodie, fatty, exact weight reduction urge, wanting to be a mommy soon, in my case no diets but exercising rigorously from past 2 yrs to be in shape again.....not eating sweets, no drinking, no burgers, no chips.....n wht not.....
ReplyDeletenice to see urself through someone else's eyes.....
Well Well Well !!!
ReplyDeleteI bring in the other end of the story.I am lean and trying hard to put on weight but somehow i am not able to cross the barrier of 55 Kgs :)
कडू कार्ले तुपात तळले साखरेत घोळले तरी कडू ते कडुच !!!
Reading this post I am tempted to visit pizza hut tonight!!! Hehehehe...
ReplyDeleteOn serious note, It's important to love yourself for who you are than put in all the efforts and sacrifice happiness to be someone else.
Good to know that you are not averse to pizzas now... we still have lots of pizza parties pending if you remember :-)
I always felt 1 thing, weight is directly proportional to good mood you carry
ReplyDeleteeven true in ur case