An Ode to grandparents!

Parents give you birth, but grandparents give you life. 

This is rightly said by someone.

I was lucky enough to take birth in a family, where 3 generations (including me) stayed together and where grandparents were there at least for the few formidable years of my life.

My paternal grandfather retired as a manager from the Ballarpur Textile mills and my grandmother was always a house maker. He had the decision making power and her territory was kitchen. Being born during  Diwali time, I was named Deepa by my grandparents and they left no stone unturned to give me the best of everything.

As my parents were working, my grandparents took care of me, my school, my Tiffin, my homework, and my sports activities etc. They were deeply involved in whatever I did. My granddad whom I fondly called Aaba, always wanted me to study hard and achieve good heights in life! My grand mom always prepared the nicest dishes and pampered me with her love and care. Whenever I thought that I would get a spanking from my parents for some mischief, I was timely saved by my grandparents. They never scolded me or shouted on me. They were patient with my every prank and never had any complaints about whatever I did in those days. They read stories to me and also taught me to say prayers in Sankrit (Ramraksha, maruti stotra etc.)

My generation was a blessed one to have grandparents. Most of my friends had a set of grandparents. Now when I think of it, I have no words to thank them enough. My granddad is no more in this world, but my grand mom still lives with the hope of seeing her great grandson/ granddaughter. She prays every day for me and inquires about my health, even today she sends me goodies, which are only her trademark items and which no one else in this world can make!

My maternal grandfather was a radio officer, but he was ill for many years and hence I saw very less of him and couldn’t bond with him like I did with my paternal grandfather. My maternal grand mom was a strong lady and she worked with the Income Tax. I visited her in summer holidays and stayed with her for 2 months. She took care of me, took me to the famous Chowpati (beach) in Girgaon (in Mumbai), took me for movies, to the children’s park etc.  Till I went to the college, I visited her in my holidays and had a good time with her and my maternal uncle’s family. But now as I have moved to Bangalore, those days have just become memories.

How much do the grandparents do for their grandchildren? Don’t they ever get tired? Will I be able to give at least 10% to my grandchildren of what my grandparents gave to me? Will I be able to be selfless and having no expectations like them?

They forget all their worries and tensions and become one with the kid. Don’t they feel like living their own life in peace now after their children are well settled and all? They can; but they do not want to. They perhaps see their own childhood in the kids and want to give them everything which they missed in their childhood.  I was lucky enough to get this mighty shade (love, care and affection) of those big trees (my grandparents), which are big in all aspects and shall always be!

Now that I am in Bangalore, I see working parents struggling to take care of their kid and then they call their parents to look after their kid. The grandparents leave their own house, city and people and come to this new city to look after the kid. I wonder if it is really justifiable. Just because the working couple doesn’t have time to take care of their kid, who they themselves give birth, why should they trouble their parents for the same? If it was their decision to bring a child into this world, they should also plan well ahead in time about taking care of it and bringing it up!

At this age, the generation of my parents should rather spend time in doing what they always wanted to do, but couldn’t due to time and money constraints. Now that the children are settled, they should leave them on their own to fend for themselves. Children leave their parents for job and go to another city, but when they are in need, they go back to the parents and parents, as they are emotional, do not think twice and again get back into the cycle of bringing up kids. The grandparents do not have the same strength to run behind kids as they had in their youth and in those days, there were so many other people also who took care of the kids, uncles, aunts, neighbors. But now due to the nuclear family structure, couples find it tough to strike a balance between working, earning money to give the best to their child and at the same time spending quality time with them. So, they have no option but to seek help of their parents.

I read somewhere that children grow up happier under care of grandparents. They get the love, affection, care and also the basic values are instilled in them. But now this institution called grandparents is slowly vanishing from the Indian family structure and I really feel bad about it. I would definitely want my children to grow up with their grandparents, but at the same time, I do not want my parents or my husband’s parents to give up their life style and hobbies and interests and get engaged with my kid for their whole time.

Let me see how I am able to solve this dilemma in future!

P.S : I know that ode is lyric poem which is usually marked by a strong emotional intensity. To capture so many things in a lyric poem was impossible and there was no better word to express the same!