When was the last time you just went out alone?
When did you just sit in a park doing nothing?
Not thinking about what to cook for dinner?
Not feeling guilty about not doing the household stuff?
Not feeling guilty about not bringing your kid or husband and enjoying some free time?
These questions feel like a maths puzzle to an Indian woman. An average, middle-classed, educated woman who earns quite well doesn't get any free time for herself, except the time she might be going to a parlor for a hair cut or so. That's it. See around your friend circle or in the family. Have you seen your mom or grandmother go out to meet friends or just to spend some free time, away from home? No, there will be a marginal number of ladies who actually do that regularly. It's not the same case in Europe. I see a lot of women, sitting alone in a cafe or a pub or in a park, just by themselves, doing what they really want to do and that too alone. I really envy these women. They have the guts to follow their heart, they can enjoy the time they are alone. They really make the most of the "me-time", they know how to do that well.
I gave it a shot the other day when I sat alone in my favorite cafe here in Karlsruhe, having a cold coffee and a piece of cheesecake. I was observing people around. Most people were in groups, but there were quite a few people like me who were sitting alone, reading, eating, thinking, looking around. I couldn't spend more than half an hour in that cafe, it was so funny! I finished eating and drinking the cold coffee, paid the money and came out of the cafe. I laughed at myself. You are a people person, I said to myself. Me-time, time for yourself, all these concepts are not for you, I warned myself! Indulgence is not for you!
Indian women are always immersed in the thoughts of their family, their kids, their husbands, meals to prepare in the kitchen, their office, their work, and the least importance is given to their health. A well-earning woman gives up her job, her family and her comfort zone and travels to a foreign country, just to be with her husband and kid and becomes a maid, a cook, a helper, care-taker, all in one for the family. And it is a thankless job. It doesn't give her any fulfillment or happiness although she lives the best of her life. A clean, pure surrounding, less crowded, a lot of privacy and a lot of time to do many things which she can't imagine doing in her home country. But still she thinks something is lacking, something is missing. She has her husband and kids by her side, they go on trips around the world, but then when she comes back home, she feels empty, she feels disconnected. Is this woman mad? People yearn to lead a better life away from corruption, pollution, traffic jams and this woman who has it all is ready to give up this life and come back to the everyday struggles of life. Isn't this a great paradox? When she has the chance to lead a happy and have her "personal" time, she doesn't really like it. Why does this happen?
Her Indian genes don't allow her to have the me-time by her own self. Indian culture has always been an inclusive culture. We do things together, right from the time a baby is conceived, it is surrounded by so many people and many celebrations take place around the baby in the womb. Once the baby comes into this world, it is always surrounded by family, relatives, friends. We are never taught to live an isolated life. We always take others with us when we move ahead or celebrate a certain occasion in our life.
Men and women have different priorities and roles. The woman wants to have the me-time, but with her close friends and family. She can't imagine herself doing anything alone. It's just not her nature, she is not nurtured that way. She wants to get identified as a career woman for which she has given so many years and has taken so many efforts or even if she is a house-wife, she has to love what she does at home or else it can become difficult to survive. She wants to juggle between her work and also give time to the family by giving the best to her kids, but by being surrounded by her own people and friends.
It would be interesting to watch how the future generations of young boys and girls would approach this concept of "me-time" in a global scenario.
When did you just sit in a park doing nothing?
Not thinking about what to cook for dinner?
Not feeling guilty about not doing the household stuff?
Not feeling guilty about not bringing your kid or husband and enjoying some free time?
These questions feel like a maths puzzle to an Indian woman. An average, middle-classed, educated woman who earns quite well doesn't get any free time for herself, except the time she might be going to a parlor for a hair cut or so. That's it. See around your friend circle or in the family. Have you seen your mom or grandmother go out to meet friends or just to spend some free time, away from home? No, there will be a marginal number of ladies who actually do that regularly. It's not the same case in Europe. I see a lot of women, sitting alone in a cafe or a pub or in a park, just by themselves, doing what they really want to do and that too alone. I really envy these women. They have the guts to follow their heart, they can enjoy the time they are alone. They really make the most of the "me-time", they know how to do that well.
I gave it a shot the other day when I sat alone in my favorite cafe here in Karlsruhe, having a cold coffee and a piece of cheesecake. I was observing people around. Most people were in groups, but there were quite a few people like me who were sitting alone, reading, eating, thinking, looking around. I couldn't spend more than half an hour in that cafe, it was so funny! I finished eating and drinking the cold coffee, paid the money and came out of the cafe. I laughed at myself. You are a people person, I said to myself. Me-time, time for yourself, all these concepts are not for you, I warned myself! Indulgence is not for you!
Indian women are always immersed in the thoughts of their family, their kids, their husbands, meals to prepare in the kitchen, their office, their work, and the least importance is given to their health. A well-earning woman gives up her job, her family and her comfort zone and travels to a foreign country, just to be with her husband and kid and becomes a maid, a cook, a helper, care-taker, all in one for the family. And it is a thankless job. It doesn't give her any fulfillment or happiness although she lives the best of her life. A clean, pure surrounding, less crowded, a lot of privacy and a lot of time to do many things which she can't imagine doing in her home country. But still she thinks something is lacking, something is missing. She has her husband and kids by her side, they go on trips around the world, but then when she comes back home, she feels empty, she feels disconnected. Is this woman mad? People yearn to lead a better life away from corruption, pollution, traffic jams and this woman who has it all is ready to give up this life and come back to the everyday struggles of life. Isn't this a great paradox? When she has the chance to lead a happy and have her "personal" time, she doesn't really like it. Why does this happen?
Her Indian genes don't allow her to have the me-time by her own self. Indian culture has always been an inclusive culture. We do things together, right from the time a baby is conceived, it is surrounded by so many people and many celebrations take place around the baby in the womb. Once the baby comes into this world, it is always surrounded by family, relatives, friends. We are never taught to live an isolated life. We always take others with us when we move ahead or celebrate a certain occasion in our life.
Men and women have different priorities and roles. The woman wants to have the me-time, but with her close friends and family. She can't imagine herself doing anything alone. It's just not her nature, she is not nurtured that way. She wants to get identified as a career woman for which she has given so many years and has taken so many efforts or even if she is a house-wife, she has to love what she does at home or else it can become difficult to survive. She wants to juggle between her work and also give time to the family by giving the best to her kids, but by being surrounded by her own people and friends.
It would be interesting to watch how the future generations of young boys and girls would approach this concept of "me-time" in a global scenario.
Can completely relate to this... I have just left my job and moved to Europe with my family. I hope I enjoy being with myself!!
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