It's exactly 13 years today.
I clearly remember the date. 30.06.2006. And why wouldn't I?
It was my wedding with A in my native town and it was raining very heavily. The auspicious time to garland each other was at 12:30 and it was comparatively late when compared with another wedding muhurta (auspicious time). The priests were saying the mantras but the rainfall was so heavy that the mantras couldn't be heard clearly. The day finished off quite well, in a hurry as most weddings do and everyone was happy and my parents and my maternal uncle, his wife, and their son were having mixed reactions. They were happy that I had got married but sad that now it would never be the same again.
I had a very special bond with my Mama. I was the only daughter of his elder sister and he was present in my life from the time I came on this earth. He pampered me to the hilt, played with me, bought things for me. After his second marriage, his wife, my Mami also equally loved me. The birth of their son promoted me to "Tai" (elder sister) and I loved him with all my heart. I was present for his naming ceremony, his first birthday, his first school day and every other milestone in his life till I got married.
My marriage changed the dynamics between my Mama and my mom. Due to some misunderstanding on the day of my wedding, they both cut all the contacts with me and my mom from that year. I have not talked to them since the year August 2006 when I visited them once after the wedding while on a trip to Alibaug. They never told me why they stopped talking to me and what was my fault in all that misunderstanding. I tried to approach my Mama once or twice, but he didn't divulge the details and when I finally asked my mom about it, she asked to stop calling them or talking to them. She told me what had really happened and why did the things turn sour. It was beyond my comprehension as I really didn't think it made sense, what and why it had happened. Siblings, who grew together can turn so cold and distant! There was a live example before my eyes. My mom was sad that this happened, but she was also very strong and brave to move on after this episode. I never got to know what my Mama felt after losing us. He must have missed us, but never had the strength to admit it or fight for us, I think!
Just like I was present in the important milestones for my brother, I wished they were present too when I bought my first house in Bangalore, when I gave birth to T and when I went to Germany twice, once for a job, the other time with A for his project. They could have visited me in Germany. I would have proudly taken them around. But I think that was not meant to be. But the good times we spent together just vanished into the thin air and anger and commotion took hold of their lives.
There are certain things which are beyond explanation and understanding. You meet people, you lose them, just like that, out of the blue they stop communicating and vanish. Perhaps that is what is called destiny. You are together only for that certain period to give each other happiness and joy and also sorrow. And when the quota is over, you move on and take a different course of life.
My mom and I have already forgiven and moved on with our lives and I wish his family only good things, albeit without us! It's without a doubt that we miss them, but we have also accepted that it is the way it is. We remember the good times spent together and revel in the good memories.
May they get strength and courage to accept that what happened was wrong and didn't bring any good to any of us.
May they realize that they lost important years of their life in something trivial, which could have, well been avoided.
May God give them peace.
I clearly remember the date. 30.06.2006. And why wouldn't I?
It was my wedding with A in my native town and it was raining very heavily. The auspicious time to garland each other was at 12:30 and it was comparatively late when compared with another wedding muhurta (auspicious time). The priests were saying the mantras but the rainfall was so heavy that the mantras couldn't be heard clearly. The day finished off quite well, in a hurry as most weddings do and everyone was happy and my parents and my maternal uncle, his wife, and their son were having mixed reactions. They were happy that I had got married but sad that now it would never be the same again.
I had a very special bond with my Mama. I was the only daughter of his elder sister and he was present in my life from the time I came on this earth. He pampered me to the hilt, played with me, bought things for me. After his second marriage, his wife, my Mami also equally loved me. The birth of their son promoted me to "Tai" (elder sister) and I loved him with all my heart. I was present for his naming ceremony, his first birthday, his first school day and every other milestone in his life till I got married.
My marriage changed the dynamics between my Mama and my mom. Due to some misunderstanding on the day of my wedding, they both cut all the contacts with me and my mom from that year. I have not talked to them since the year August 2006 when I visited them once after the wedding while on a trip to Alibaug. They never told me why they stopped talking to me and what was my fault in all that misunderstanding. I tried to approach my Mama once or twice, but he didn't divulge the details and when I finally asked my mom about it, she asked to stop calling them or talking to them. She told me what had really happened and why did the things turn sour. It was beyond my comprehension as I really didn't think it made sense, what and why it had happened. Siblings, who grew together can turn so cold and distant! There was a live example before my eyes. My mom was sad that this happened, but she was also very strong and brave to move on after this episode. I never got to know what my Mama felt after losing us. He must have missed us, but never had the strength to admit it or fight for us, I think!
Just like I was present in the important milestones for my brother, I wished they were present too when I bought my first house in Bangalore, when I gave birth to T and when I went to Germany twice, once for a job, the other time with A for his project. They could have visited me in Germany. I would have proudly taken them around. But I think that was not meant to be. But the good times we spent together just vanished into the thin air and anger and commotion took hold of their lives.
There are certain things which are beyond explanation and understanding. You meet people, you lose them, just like that, out of the blue they stop communicating and vanish. Perhaps that is what is called destiny. You are together only for that certain period to give each other happiness and joy and also sorrow. And when the quota is over, you move on and take a different course of life.
My mom and I have already forgiven and moved on with our lives and I wish his family only good things, albeit without us! It's without a doubt that we miss them, but we have also accepted that it is the way it is. We remember the good times spent together and revel in the good memories.
May they get strength and courage to accept that what happened was wrong and didn't bring any good to any of us.
May they realize that they lost important years of their life in something trivial, which could have, well been avoided.
May God give them peace.
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