23 February 2019

Blog Marathon - Post 22 - Inner circle, outer circle

I am an ardent fan of Hindi Retro music. The music of 70's, 80's and 90's keeps me sane. It uplifts my mood when I am down. Music is a constant accompaniment when I am alone at home. I need some sound, some noise. I can't bear the stunning silence. So the app gaana.com comes handy in these times. There are innumerable songs on this app under the "Retro" section and one of my favorites is the Riya's Retro Show. Every Wednesday she comes with a new topic or a new composer, singer and then weaves a story of songs around it. I enjoy every bit of it and look forward to each new episode.

She recently did an episode on "Inner circle, outer circle" of friendships and relationships. You can listen to that episode here:

https://gaana.com/playlist/gaana-dj-riyas-retro-season-4

I found this particular episode very interesting. It was about a person A writing to a friend B that B is no longer a part of A's inner circle of friends now. And Riya did an entire episode on that. She was not very happy with A's statement and she is of the opinion that relationships shouldn't be so shallow that people become less important in our lives as time passes by. But I have a slightly different opinion here.

With time and circumstances, the inner circle and outer circle changes. Human relationships are dynamic and must be kept updated with time. When I came to Bangalore in 2005, I had a set of friends who were bachelors like me and we had a nice group. We went out together for movies, dinners etc. And after one year, that group disintegrated because people moved to different places. We tried to keep in touch via mail, but slowly that friendship lost its charm and we found different people as friends which then shared a common interest. After I got pregnant, that set of friends who were in the same stage became close to me and even today I am very close to them and the kids of the friends.

Friendships in offices are also often changing and once you change the group or the company, those friendships are lost in time. School friends had lost touch for many years, then we all got back together on WhatsApp, thanks to the technology. We met a few times also. When I think back now, I am not in touch with anyone from my first company at this moment. My second company gave me 2-3 good friends, who are still in touch with me now. I was in a large group at that time too but could strike a good rapport only with 2-3 girls. And after coming to Germany, I have lost touch with the people in my current company also.

I have made some good friends in Karlsruhe and I find it very important to invest time and energy to keep them fresh and alive and going. Efforts are required from both the sides and with time and distance, the dynamics can change if we move away from each other physically and emotionally.

I am not sure how fulfilling and enriching office friendships are, but the friendships which have a common motive, feature, interest, wavelength go a long way. It is not important who is in the inner or outer circle. Important is how you spent the time when you were together and whether you had a good time. Does it bring a smile to your face when you think of those times? Do you look back at those days with pride and happiness and thank god that you met? That's important! Inner circle and outer circle can replace each other completely. That's just a matter of time.

1 comment:

  1. Well written post.... Can relate to it fully.... But at times it does pain to think of those long lost frens u were once close to sometime in the past... And who have strayed away with time... Sometimes u do wish u can retrace or find a similar frenship again....

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