Time changes everything

A trip to Dombivli was planned 2 months in advance as my brother-in-law was getting married in Novemeber. Train bookings were done, well in advance and everything was planned for that 1 week stay. I was happy that I will be meeting all the relatives on Atul's side and will be able to enjoy the wedding before the baby arrives. Once the baby arrives, I may not be able to concentrate on social activities as earlier, at least till he/she grows well enough to understand such celebrations.

But suddenly, Atul had to go to Germany for a month and all my enthusiasm and plans seemed to be fast vanishing in thin air. How was I going to travel alone and who would have accompanied me to Mumbai from Bangalore. As usually happens, the rock in my life, of course my dad came running to Bangalore and took me to Mumbai for the wedding! And I was going to be there till Atul returned to Bangalore and then to Mumbai to fetch me. That means I was going to be there for 1 good month! I was so excited and happy!

The train journey of 24 hrs from Bangalore to Mumbai cost me a lot healthwise. I had a severe pain in the lower back and was unable to walk properly or sit for longer hours. I had to consult a gynaec there and he told me that baby is doing fine, so then mentally I was ready to bear the pain! I am generally sensitive to all kinds of physical pains, but for my baby, I was ready to bear anything and everything. This is what motherhood is all about I think! So, after taking medicines, I was able to attend the wedding and enjoy it too! I met most of the relatives and they were happy to see me and they congratulated me for the very special joy which was about to fill our lives in April next year! I enjoyed all the limelight and the blessings showered on me and had a wonderful time meeting and catching up. Of course, I missed my dearest hubby, but some things cannot be avoided, isn't it?

After spending 2 weeks in my hometown at my maternal home, slowly I started missing Bangalore, my home, the weather, my office. My house in Dombivli is on the main road. Main road means lot of noise and dust and yes, mosquitoes in winter!!! I wondered to myself, I spent 24 years of my life in this very city, in this very house and now suddenly why are things looking so different to me? I am unable to bear the dust on the roads, I got dust allergy. I was unable to sleep at night due to the constant noise of the vehicles on the road and the crowd on the road frightened me. I did not dare to go down for a walk in the evening as I feared that someone would come and knock me down. I was not in any hurry, but the people around me were always running. This is a typical day in life of a Mumbaikar! I was very much part of it when I was in college and found that life quite challenging and interesting. But now after spending 7 yrs in Bangalore, I am out of that race and that thrill and enjoy being laid back and like to lead a silent and slow life. I have been amongst those fortunate ones whose office is near to their house and who do not spend time commuting in Bangalore. I also had the support of my maids, who cooked for me and kept the house clean for me! I had to manage other things in the house, but my husband and my parents, in-laws helped me in every possible way. I did not realize that we already have 5.5 years of marriage behind us and now we are getting ready to welcome a new member to this family!

Back in Mumbai, my parents and grandmother were doing their every little bit to make my stay comfortable there and now as I was expecting, they were pampering me very much. This is the last session of your pampering, my parents told me! I said, yes, I know! All this time, I was the focus of attention and now the focus of attention was going to change in few months time, for good!

Why did this change happen in me? Have I become selfish that I no more like my parent's place or have become so much addicted to the life in Bangalore that life in Mumbai seems boring to me? I love my parents and the maternal house, but still I longed to go back to Bangalore, which was my home only from past 7 years? Why? Have the bonds of love weakened?  No, I do not think so. It is just that we get adjusted to the life we live daily and that routine becomes a set patternt for us. A change of few days, say a week or two in other places feels good, but then the yearning to get back to the old routine and old life starts.

I am sure, you all will agree to me. Time changes our habits and perception about people, places and things. It can be for good or for bad. It also depends on how you take the change in your perception about the people and things around you!

So far I am glad to be back to namma Bengaluru and enjoying the city and my home sweet home! And I am very much looking forward to go back to my maternal home with the baby next year!

Baby girl or baby boy

This year has been a year of babies.

At least 10 people of my acquaintance have a new addition to their family and 8 of them have been blessed with a baby girl. The very mention of her makes me so happy. Arrival of a baby girl in one of my close friend's life set me thinking. 

I have been the only child to my parents and was born after 11 generations of boys in my family. My grand-parents were very happy and they named me Deepa very lovingly because I was born around the time of Diwali and supposedly I brought light to their home and lives. My family spared no means to educate me and they encouraged me in everything which I took up. Without them, I wouldn't have been where I am today. The relationship of a daughter with her father is totally different and the daughters who share a wonderful rapport with their fathers can very well identify what I am saying. This is one of the reasons, I want a baby girl because I want my husband to experience that bond and make him realize how delicate and beautiful the world is with a baby girl around. He is always amused by the way I talk to my parents daily and keep them updated of almost everything happening in my life. I want him to go through all those phases and experiences so that he would understand why exactly a father is so protective of his daughter and why does a daughter consider her father the strongest man in the world!

My friends in other countries already know whom they are going to welcome at the end of 9 months. My radiologist might have also come to know whom me and my family are going to welcome in April. But as sex determination is banned in India, none of the doctors disclose it to the prospective parents now.  I really pity those people who consider girls as a burden and abort the fetus after determining the sex of the baby. It also had reasons because dowry was so prevalent then that fathers who had more daughters were the sufferers. Women weren't educated that time and so they couldn't support their parents after getting married. But now, things have changed and women have become independent and good decision makers. They love their parents till the end and support them in every possible way. Same can't be said and expected from boys nowadays. 

My husband grew with a younger brother with no experience of the delicate nature and world of girls at all. If he had a sister, things would have been a little different, but then that was not to be. So, when I got married to him, his world was the other side of the hemisphere to me as I never grew up with a brother. So, the world of boys and their behavior and attitude was totally new to me. I took a lot of time to understand that when boys do not express their thoughts does not mean that they do not care for people around them. It is just a way they are comfortable with.

I console myself saying if at all I give birth to a baby boy, it would be a learning experience for me as to why are boys like boys. Their world, their choices are different. Why not? They are physiologically different than the girls. They are more aggressive and logical and girls tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

Little girls play with dolls and they like to dress up. There are so many choices available for them in the market when it comes to clothing. They are tender and soft when it comes to things. Boys are happy with guns and trains and airplanes and they are more interested in dismantling a toy rather than playing with it. Once they start going to school, they become independent and their emotional attachment with mother and father takes a backseat. But girls are always attached to their parents, no matter how old they grow and how successful they become.

I do not mean to do a girls vs. boys comparison here. Both are very unique and different and the experience I am going to have with one of them is also going to teach me a lot of things and is going to enrich me as a human being.

Be it a baby girl or a baby boy.

Either ways, I am going to be a mom and there is no happiness larger than this.

Important is that the baby is going to belong to us and we are going to see it grow and flourish in front of our eyes.

The moment

"Look your baby is clapping", the radiologist exclaimed!

Lying on the bed for the 20 weeks sonography, I peered at the screen to have a look at the life thriving inside me. My joy knew no bounds. Tears welled up in my eyes. I watched at it continuously and was wondering, when will the baby land in my hands? My father was there in the room too. It must have been a totally different experience for him to watch his own grandchild even before it has taken birth.

The trend has changed so much. My dad saw me only when I took birth, but now he is watching his grandchild even before it is born. Atul missed the sight as he was away in Germany for work. I couldn't get the recording either to show it to him. The radiologist examined the baby for 15-20 minutes, took all the necessary parameters and showed me all the vital parts of the baby's body like his face, stomach, spinal cord, hands, legs, eyes, nose. They were so tiny, but were developing as expected and the baby also weighed 275 gms now!!! The radiologist gave me a green signal and said everything is fine.

Beaming with joy, I walked out of the room and waited for the report patiently.

That wait of half an hr took me into a flashback.

I remembered the day when I first did the home pregnancy test 5 months ago and it showed positive. I had got up at 2 am and had done the test. I couldn't believe my eyes at all, so I woke Atul up and asked him to check it too. He was speechless and said yes, it was indeed positive. We both couldn't sleep after that. We were happy, very happy and at the same time, we couldn't believe that it has finally happened to us after a wait of so many years. I had done everything possible for conceiving, reduced my weight, went into dieting, tried ayurvedic medicines, prayed etc. etc. But then as it is rightly said, things happen at the right time and god knows best when to give you that right thing. I conceived when we were not thinking about it so deeply.

I consulted the doctor in my apartment and she asked me to do a sonography for confirming the pregnancy. That time, I was so thrilled and nervous at the same time that I could hardly believe that motherhood is finally happening to me. That tiny dot throbbing with full vigour in my womb was as though telling me, mom, I am finally here! Your wait is over. I am coming to you in a few months from now. And how that tiny dot has now increased to a baby. which has a definite form now and which I can very nicely identify! I couldn't thank nature and God enough. We all know the natural things happening inside a woman while the baby is growing inside, but then isn't it really amazing the way this process unfolds in front of our eyes? A life growing by leaps and bounds inside another life is indeed a miracle for me and I am enjoying every moment of this miracle growing inside me.

By the sixth month now, the presence of the baby will be more evident as it will start kicking inside. That is again going to be another experience to which I am looking forward to. But the ultimate moment will be when the baby will finally land in my hands and I will touch it's soft, pink skin with my own hands and see that tiny little thing with my own hands. Those tiny little feet, which went touched will turn more pink and those tiny little hands which will catch my finger very firmly where I will escort my baby in the greater world and nurture those hands to gain strength and courage to do right things!

I am so looking forward to motherhood that nothing else seems important to me at this time in my life!!

Back again

Hello Folks,

I have lost the count of time since past 3-4 months.

When was it the last time that I wrote on my blog with the ever-infectious enthusiasm of mine? Think it was on my birthday, almost a month back.

What was holding me back? No one had prohibited me from writing. I had all the means to write. Internet, laptop, but still why had I become so lazy? There were thoughts in my mind, but then putting them on paper became so difficult that I wondered at myself. I once wrote daily about some thing or the other and now from past 2 months, I hadn't even bothered to open the home page of my blog and check it out.

Well, my life now revolves around different priorities.

Finally god has answered my prayers. The good wishes and blessings of my elders, relatives, friends, acquaintances has finally received a nod from that almighty and he has given me the greatest happiness a woman could ever get. He has bestowed upon me the chance of bringing another little life in this world, nurture it, care for it and make it fit to stay in this world. A woman who has been waiting for this ultimate happiness can't ask for more and I have been basking in this happiness from the time I learned that I am going to become a mother.

I now dream of my little one all the time, pray for that little life throbbing inside me. I eat well so that the baby is well nourished. I think positive and listen to good things so that the baby is happy and cheerful and positive just like it's environment. Atul wonders, how the baby will look, whether it will be a boy or a girl. Whether it will be academically intelligent like me or self-professed dud like him in studies? But all these things are secondary at this point of time. Important is that the baby comes to this world without any hassles, has good health and immunity and gets well adjusted to this new world where so many people will be doting on him/her.

I have 2 grandmothers (very much active and kicking), Atul has 1 grandmother and they all are looking forward to that tiny bundle of joy to appear in front of their eyes.  That day will be a treat to everybody's eyes who will be present that day to see 4 generations under 1 roof. This is a rare occassion nowadays. But I am fortunate enough to see it. I saw my great-grandmother and my baby will also see it's great grandmothers and I am very happy about it.

So people, pray for me and wish me luck that I have mental and physical strength to bring my baby to this world without much hassles.

Amen! 

शिस्तप्रिय पण प्रेमळ शिक्षक

माझी शाळा विलेपार्ल्याची "पार्ले टिळक विद्यालय". माझी शाळा त्याकाळी नावाजलेली - प्रसिद्ध होती व अजूनही आहेच.

मी इंग्रजी १ ली ते इ. ७ वी (म्हणजेच आताची ५ वी ते ११ - त्याकाळी म्याट्रिक ११ वी असे) म्हणजे म्याट्रिकपर्यंत त्याच शाळेत होते. त्याकाळी शाळेत पाच सहाशे मुले असायची एकूण. एका वर्गात फार तर ३० मुले. आणी प्रत्येक वर्गाच्या दोनच तुकड्या. शाळा चालू होती त्यातच १९४२ ची 'चले जाव' चळवळ सुरु झाली. सर्व पुढारी तुरुंगात गेले. आम्ही सर्व लहानच होतो ११-१२ वर्षांची. पुष्कळदा शाळा भरायची पण सोडून द्यायचे. वातावरण गंभीरच होते. त्यातच दुस-या महायुद्धाची - लढाईची पळापळ. मुंबईवर बॉम्ब पडणार म्हणून सर्व मुंबई खाली झाली. पुरुषवर्गाने आपली कुटुंबे गावांना पाठवून दिली. मुंबई खाली झाली, पार्ले ओस पडले. आम्हीपण कोकणात मामाकडे वर्षभर राहिलो. मग हळू हळू सर्वजण मुंबईत परतू लागले. आम्हीपण पार्ल्याला येऊन आम्ही चार भावंडे शाळेत रुजू झालो. तेव्हा पार्ल्यात "जागा भाडयाने देणे आहे" अशा पाटया झळकू लागल्या. मालक पण आपल्याला जागेमधे भाडेकरू मिळावेत म्हणून २-४ रुपये भाडे कमी करू वगैरे प्रलोभने दाखवू लागले.

आमच्या वेळचे मास्तर सर्व मुलांना नावाने ओळखत असत. श्री गोडबोले मास्तर नेहमी खाडीचे कपडे वापरत. तास इतिहासाचा असे पण ते नेहमी अभ्यास आणी स्वातंत्र्यवीरांच्या गोष्टी सांगायचे. आणी स्वातंत्र्य मिळाल्यावर आपण इंग्रजांची रविवारची सुटी काढून टाकायची व आपल्यात प्रत्येक वारला देवाचे महत्व आहे, उदा: सोम-शंकर, मंगळ/शुक्र-देवी, गुरु=दत्ता, शनी-मारुती वगैरे वगैरे. मग आपल्या आवडत्या देवाच्या वाराची आपण सुटी पाहिजे ते सांगायचे आणी मग त्या दैवाशी शाळा बंद. तासाला मजा यायची.

श्री भागवत मास्तर भूगोल शिकवायचे. Oasis कसे असते तर माझ्या डोक्याकडे बघा. मधे टक्कल व सभोवती केस. वाळवंटात, मधेच पाणी व सभोवती हिरवळ असते. अशी गमतीशीर उदाहरणे द्यायचे. व्यायामाचे शिक्षक श्री पाटणकर. ते आमच्या शेजारीच रहात. त्यांनी तासाच्या वेळी एक शिटी मारली की सर्व मुलं चिडीचूप होऊन रांगेत उभी रहात. पावसाळ्यात ते मुलांना विहिरीत पोहायला पण शिकवायचे. मी पण पोहायला शिकले. श्री सहस्रबुद्धे मास्तर, त्यांना आम्ही मामा म्हणत असू. त्यांनी पण मुला मुलींना रात्रीची सायकल शिकवली. त्यावेळी पार्ल्यातील रस्ते खाडीचे होते. ते मामा बिचारे त्या खाडीच्या रस्त्यावरून धावत व आम्हाला पॅडलिंग शिकवत. सायकलला त्याकाळी दिवा असे त्या तेलाचा वास मला अजून स्मरतो.

श्री आंबेकर चित्रकलेचे शिक्षक होते. चित्रकलेच्या १ली आणी २री परीक्षेची तयारी करून घेऊन ते मुलांना परीक्षेला बसवत असत. इंग्रजीला जोशी मास्तर. मुलांचे व्याकरण, पाठांतर छान करून करून घेत. त्यांचा दरारा असे त्यामुळे आमचे इंग्रजी नवीन विषय असून सुद्धा चांगला अभ्यास होत असे. संस्कृत पाठांतर श्री सहस्रबुद्धे (मामा) सर शिकवत. त्यांने पण संस्कृत छानच सोपे करून शिकवले. गणोबांचे (गणित!) गुरुजी आठवत नाहीत.

आमचे शाळेचे मुख्याध्यापक श्री मा. सी. पेंढारकर होते. शाळेची घनता वाजली की ते लगेच पहिल्या मजल्यावरच्या ग्यालरीत येऊन उभे राहायचे. त्यांना तिथे उभे पहिले की मुले गेट पासून धावत धावत वर्गात जायची. त्याकाळी शक्यतो उशिरा कोणी येत नसत.

जून १९४४ मधे मुंबईचा म्याट्रिकचा रिझल्ट लागला आणी अभिमानाची गोष्ट म्हणजे कुमार अशोक चितळे हा युनिव्हर्सिटीत चौथा आला. त्याच वर्षी शाळेला २५ वर्षे पूर्ण झालेली होती.
१५ ऑगस्ट १९४७ उगवला आणी भारत स्वतंत्र झाला. त्या वेळीचा आनंद विचारूच नका. मार्च ४८ ला आमचा वर्ग म्याट्रिकच्या परीक्षेला बसला. आणी ५ जून १९४८ ला रिझल्ट लागून आम्ही मुले म्याट्रिक पास झालो. सर्वत्र आनंदी आनंद. कारण - "आम्ही स्वतंत्र भारताचे पहिले म्याट्रिक" असे अभिमानाने सांगू लागलो.

मंगला करंदीकर (माहेरचे जोशी)
स्वामी समर्थ नगर, खो.न. ५९
बंडू गोखले पाट, गिरगाव,
मुंबई ४००००४
(आता वय ८१)

This is an article written by my maternal grandmother. I thank Atul profusely for typing it out for me in Marathi font!

Happy birthday

Birthdays for me are a celebration of being alive and healthy and kicking. It is the most special occasion for me and I see to it that my family members and close friends are well wished by me on their special day.

Today is my 32^nd birthday. But this year, there was no child-like enthusiasm for it and or lots of expectations from it. Did the age have to do something with it? No idea. There was a surprise in store for me, for sure, from none other than my dear hubby. He is of the types who don’t believe in giving gifts which are of no use later. I was actually reminding him from past 1 week that the day is approaching and that he better be prepared for it. He was constantly telling me from past 2 days that he couldn’t get time to buy me a gift and so I should forgive him this year, which I readily did and did not pester him again. In the morning, a big greeting card and a box of chocolates sat adorning my dressing table and I instantly knew that it has to be him. He was sheepishly looking at it, trying to act as if he didn’t know who planted it there. That made my day. A big smile filled my face and heart and tears welled up in my eyes when I read the content. My mother-in-law and her mom are here with us for a few days. So aaji gave me a gift for my birthday with lots of blessings. With a positive note, I started for office.

My buddies, Koustubh, Sudhir, John, Ajay, my college friend Deepali, my kid sister Shreya, my granny, my husband’s uncle and aunt from Hyderabad, my ex colleague and a very good friend, Ranjani were amongst the people who wished me. My father and father-in-law wished me too, which was again a surprise because they both usually forget birthdays and anniversaries. My mom, being at a trek was out of coverage area, hence this is the first birthday when she couldn’t wish me. Nevertheless, she is visiting me soon and I am looking forward to it. 

My team mates Kirti and Payal wished me. Others didn’t know or didn’t bother to wish me. There is a regular mailer sent out on birthdays of team members. However, it did not come for me. This is the usual trend which happens every year. I think about it for some time and leave the thought and move ahead. All the important people in my life and their wishes mean a lot to me and these people wish me without fail, which really counts. Teams and people in it keep on changing and no long term friendships can be really expected out of it.

I remember how different birthdays used to be in school and college! It was a day of wearing a new dress, granny prepared lots of goodies and there was a special treat to the close friends and the neighbors. All my friends gathered at my place and we ate, we talked, we laughed and had a great time! With limited money in our hands that time, money was collected from all friends and a gift was brought, which actually was over-shadowed by the presence of the gang in the house. In college, the trend of treating in a hotel started, but still it couldn’t replace the home-made food and the fun and the laughter. Nowadays people spend so much on birthday parties of 1 and 2 year old kids. The kids hardly understand the significance of such lavish parties. But then it is a matter of choice and people spend for their own satisfaction rather than doing something constructive on that day. I visited my neighbor’s daughter’s birthday party where we were asked not to carry any gifts and it was a simple affair of only 10 close people of the family. I took a small plant for the kid so that her mother can teach the kid to take care of it by watering it etc.

Facebook has become another medium to wish people on birthdays. People mail and send SMS, but not wishing on Facebook is the in-thing! I am sure, people whom I know and also whom I haven’t met in my life would have wished me there because the birthday reminder is shown on the pages of all people who are in your friends’ list.  It feels a little awkward when wishes pour from people with whom you are not in touch regularly and the people who are in touch with you totally forget to wish you on your big day!!!

Anyways, my next birthday is not going to be the same anymore so why not enjoy this day and thank all my well wishers and friends and family for their love and greetings and blessings?

Isn’t it?  

Wrong number

Sorry folks to have been not very active on the blog recently.

There were so many things happening around me that I was totally caught up in them and my writing had to take a backseat. Nevertheless, I am back again with a very fresh and burning topic in my life.

From the past 1 month, I was been pestered by 2 cell numbers, which I did not know or recognise.

It all started with Kannada messages from 1 unknown number. Thankfully, I do not understand Kannada very much, so whatever he/she was sending was Greek and Latin for me. I tried to overlook it for some days. I also messaged that person that please stop sending messages as I do not know you. But I think that person did not even understand English. I tried calling that number many times, no one picked it up. I tried from different numbers, but still in vain! The sound of SMS irritated me to core now because now I knew that it will be from that unknown number. One day I got around 15 SMS from that number. I thought of approaching the police at one point of time. My husband was cool about this. You know how men take all these things. He just told me to ignore it. How was I supposed to ignore it if I was been pestered throughout the day with some non-sensical jokes and SMS from some unknown fool? I kept my cool for some more days and then one day, I blew it off. I messaged that number in my broken Kannada that if you ever message me again, I will have to approach the police. That person might have got the message, he stopped for 2 days and on the eve of Ganpati festival, I called him because he had the audacity to message me again. I blasted him, he seemed some college going boy, totally vagabond types. He was speaking in Kannada and I was shouting in English. He was constantly asking me if I did not know Kannada, how come I messaged him in Kannada. But I was so angry on him, if he would have been there in person, I would have slapped him left and right. Thankfully, he did not bother me after that and I was relieved that finally the torture is over.

But, I was wrong. Another number started messaging me in English and he even told me his name, he seemed like a college student too and messaged me saying that he "just" wants friendship from me, nothing else. My blood pressure rose again. I tried in all possible ways to tell him that I am not the person he is looking for. But no, he just won't stop. I was going through all that mental torture again. I even collected information about how to lodge a complaint and where and what all proof do I need for the same? Then one day he sent SMS at 10:30 pm. My husband was sitting with me and I showed it to him and asked him to call that number immediately and clear the matter. Enough was enough. Atul spoke to him in his usual cool demeanor and convinced him that he doesn't know this person and that he should stop messaging at once. Thankfully that person got the hint and he stopped troubling me. From that day I am living in peace, but at the back of mind, I have the fear that something will start again from some other number.

I really do not understand this generation. What are they upto? Don't they have anything better in life than to pester people whom they do not know at all? Flauting a mobile has become a symbol of being "in" the peer group. Mobiles have brought people closer, no doubt, but they have also become a nuisance. I receive at least 10 messages from vendors who want to sell their products. Dr. Batras, Airtel DTH services, Herbs and Spices, Dominos are the regular ones and others do their work dutifully once a while. Now thankfully, I have requested Airtel to stop unwanted SMS from unwanted sources.

I wish Airtel or the mobile phone companies like Nokia, Samsung, Sony come up with some mechanism where we can also block unwanted personal messages coming from unknown people. High end mobiles might be having it, but not everyone has them.

Have you faced something like this anytime and what was your solution for the same?

The difference

Lord Ganesha is my favorite God and I await his arrival every year with so much of anticipation.

As most of you know by now, I shifted to my new house in the month of June and this place seems cut off from inhabitation and other routine things which one sees happening around.

Ganesha celebrations in the Tippasandra house were so different. I could see people with idols or hear them sing bhajans or hear the drums beat while the groups took Ganesha home. I felt that there was something festive going on here. But in my new house, it seemed that only my family had Ganesha in the entire complex and none of the people, I had invited, bothered to even come for the darshan and oblige. All my close friends in Bangalore were working, so they couldn't make it for the day. One Marathi family came for the morning aarati and my immediate neighbor came for the evening aarati. That's it. That was it. That were our celebrations for the year, with just 4 family members in the house. The human contact was so minimal that I hardly felt that there was a huge festival being celebrated in the other parts of the city and the country.

Cut to my house in Dombivli, my hometown which is Maharashtra, where at least 100 people visit my home for Ganesha darshan. My mom's friends from the train, from her trekking group, from her other groups come over. My dad also knows a lot of people in the town as ours was amongst the first medical stores in Dombivli and my dad has been helpful to many people in times of emergencies. All the members in the society come over with their children. So it is really an event to look forward to and be happy about. At least 10 people are always present in the house during the evening hours. I became nostalgic and thought of those good old days. I wanted to be a part of those celebrations, at least this year, after 6 long years, but then destiny had something else in store for me. Never mind, I shouldn't think about what should have happened, but should be happy about being able to welcome Lord Ganesha in my new house.

I will leave you with a thought..

Does moving up the ladder in the so-called society and owning a house in a huge complex, far from our families and friends cut us off from the human contact and leave us self-centred and more privacy driven?

Or is this just a phase till we get to know people around in the society and befriend them and improve contacts with them?   

Gearing up

By next Thursday, there would be festive atmosphere in many parts of India.

Maharashtra, Karnataka and a few other states celebrate the Ganesha festival where people bring home the idol of Ganesha and worship it for anywhere between 1 and a half days to 11 days. There are lot of sweets which are prepared at home and then friends, relatives come over for the celebration. There is a lot of positivity in the atmosphere and I just love this season.

From the time I moved to Bangalore, I see a different picture of celebrations here. They might not seem as grand as the ones in Maharashtra, but the fervor is no less. Everybody is charged up, people are busy cleaning, decorating their houses, children have holidays and they get new clothes. People have so many ideas for decorating the pandal for the Ganesha to sit. It ranges from mere Rs. 100-200 to Lakhs of rupees. Off late, people have addressed social issues in the decorations for the Ganesha festival and when people throng to visit that Ganesha, they also get the message and it creates awareness among them.

This year, we were supposed to travel to Pune for the festival. Pune is a hub for these type of celebrations. Major roads get blocked during the 10 days and there are so many different kinds of Ganeshas to see in Pune, that you get tired at the end of it. But this year, again, our trip got cancelled and we decided to bring the lord of wisdom to our new abode. Who knows, this must be the Lord's demand itself that he be installed in our new house. I am looking forward to the next week for welcoming my favorite God home and I am also going to invite all my near and dear ones for the same.

Ganpati Bappa morya!!!!!!!!!!

Expect the unexpected

Nothing happens in life as we want. You would find every single person complaining like this.

Is it always so?

If I ask 10 people, 9 would reply in affirmation saying yes, that’s right! Nothing happens in our lives as we had expected. I am also one of those 9 people who would happily agree to the fact that they are challenges in every walk of life which we lead and not always things happen as we want them to.

But then what will be the fun if life was predictable and we knew all that was coming our way or saw in advance what was going to happen in our life? We would lose all our strength and vigor to fight it out and just become a character which just follows the script of a serial! Though many of you might argue with me on how we are mere puppets in the hands of god and destiny and how we just come and play our parts here. But also while playing your parts; have you given your 200% to that role? Do you believe in yourself and that role so much that God would be compelled to say, arre iske jaisa to aur koi ho hi nahi sakta!!!

I was waiting eagerly for my rating communication even this year. I was not expecting something great because from my previous experiences, I learnt a good lesson and gave up expecting anything good or bad. But when the news broke to me and I realized that I have done well and have got a good rating and that my work was appreciated, it made me happy and also set me thinking.

There should be chances like these in our lives where something unexpected comes up and strengthens our belief in ourselves and that god and destiny and gives us and the people around us a lot of happiness and positive spirti. So, all what I want to say is that we should keep our hearts open and welcome unexpected things which in turn always have something or the other to teach us!

Pets - Friends for life?

I got to know this interesting story from my best friends' mom, which is a true story.

Someone amongst her relatives is sad and depressed from the past 1 yr. That is exactly from the time, a pet in their family died. Her relative (let us call him grandpa) is almost 75 yrs old and has lot of complications in his health after that.

Yes, it was a dog, a Pomeranian by breed, but grandpa wouldn't call him a dog, he felt it was an insult to call the dog a dog. The dog, Kittu was very much a part of their family and it stayed with them for 9 yrs, which is quite a bit for his breed.

Kittu ate all things which were prepared in the kitchen. He loved coconut and tomato very much. He also loved milk, rice, biscuits and all types of sweets. Grandpa invested in Kittu emotionally to such an extent that now its void cannot be filled by anything or anyone in this world. His relatives, his family have tried so much to cheer him up, but he just doesn't respond and continues to remain glum and sad.

I was very touched with this. Can a human being be so attached to a pet? Even when there is a death of human being in the family, we tend to grieve for some time and move ahead with life. But this person is stuck in Kittu's memories and can't look beyond Kittu. I hope he gets out of this phase and leads a better life.

Dogs are known to be man's best friend since ages now. The bonding of human beings and dogs is depicted in so many Bollywood and Hollywood movies; one which made me cry is Hachi: A Dog's tale, which is based on a true story. Found this from Wikipedia, please do read:

"In 1924, Hidesaburō Ueno, a professor in the agriculture department at the University of Tokyo, took in Hachikō as a pet. During his owner's life, Hachikō greeted him at the end of each day at the nearby Shibuya Station. The pair continued their daily routine until May 1925, when Professor Ueno did not return. The professor had suffered from a cerebral hemorrhage and died, never returning to the train station where Hachikō was waiting. Every day for the next nine years the golden brown Akita waited at Shibuya station.

The permanent fixture at the train station that was Hachikō attracted the attention of other commuters. Many of the people who frequented the Shibuya train station had seen Hachikō and Professor Ueno together each day. They brought Hachikō treats and food to nourish him during his wait.

This continued for nine years with Hachikō appearing precisely when the train was due at the station.

Hachikō died on March 8, 1935, and was found on a street in Shibuya.

Hachikō's stuffed and mounted remains are kept at the National Science Museum of Japan in Ueno, Tokyo”.

Richard Gere played the role of the professor and I just couldn't control my tears towards the end of this movie. I was thinking about this movie for a very long time.

What makes pets love their masters so much? Though dogs can't express by talking, they express it through their eyes and actions and their masters mean the world to them. They need only your love and attention, that's it. They are not interested in your money or your professional status. They love you unconditionally. I can't help thinking about my pet dog, Raju, who loved me so much that he didn't allow anyone else other than the family members to touch me, when I was a baby!

I dream of owning a German shepherd sometime in my life. I couldn't spend quality time with Raju. But I want to nurture another dog as a tribute to Raju and thank him for whatever he did for me and my family.

Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai

Friend

This word has so many meanings.

1. A person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty; an intimate

2. An acquaintance or associate

3. An ally in a fight or cause; supporter

4. A fellow member of a party, society, etc.

5. A patron or supporter

All I know and understand is..

A new me and a confident me is a result of efforts of all my friends who have been there with me in all the walks of life and I would like to take this opportunity to thank them all.

I am the only child, always missed a sister/brother, but not after I started teaching German in the Mumbai university. That was a turning point in my life. I changed into a dynamic and confident person from a very depressed and a sad person who had a negative self-concept. Interacting with my students and seeing the joy of learning a new language on their brightened up faces gave me a new found happiness and changed me to what I am today. I want to thank my first set of students ever, thank you Gajanan Palsule, Madhura Ratnaparkhi and Mandar Kelkar, who were responsible to make me a good teacher.

My friend, Vrishali who was with me studying German during MA helped me financially to enroll for the translation course and I will be thankful to her and her family all my life. When relatives did not stand there for me, she and her mom without any hesitation paid my fees for the course and never ever asked me when I shall return the money. I paid it back when I started doing a job and till then they never mentioned their big help. She is now happily married, with a son, now in UK and I am in touch with her through mails. Good things happen with good people!

I had a group in my school and college too, but then somehow we lost touch and met after a gap of years on Facebook or on mail, but I realized that we all had a different life now and connecting on a very personal basis with them was very difficult. So most of my school and college friends whom I met again more or less now just remain hi, bye friends.

The Marathi e-group which I am a member of and where I met my hubby, Atul, gave me wonderful friends, some are still in touch with me, but many have gotten busy with their own lives and kids which is quite justifiable. Gauri, Priyank, Meenal, Seema and Hrishikesh, Priyank, Vishwajeet - We all had a nice group when I was in Mumbai and we met up regularly to catch up on issues ranging from political to personal. After I moved to Bangalore, though the personal visits were less, we were in regular touch with each other on mails and calls. And whenever I am in Mumbai, I make it a point to meet up with them. It feels so good to experience the gone-by days again with them when life was so carefree and simple.

Bangalore gave me wonderful friends too. Koustubh, Sudhir are from my previous company. Though we have now changed companies, we are very much in touch with what is happening in each other's lives. I know I can count on them even at 12 in the night, when I need any help.

Colleagues, who have become close friends and with whom I share all my personal and professional worries and tensions if any, helped me a lot to come to terms with issues which I took to heart unnecessarily. Aabha Karmarkar gives me a pep talk whenever I need it and I hammer her too when she is low on her mood. Snehal Oke and I share a lot of things in our personal lives, because we have many common things when it comes to our husbands. Tejaswini, who was my shuttle mate, turned into such a lovely friend that I can't imagine a single day at office without her. I do not know how I am going to cope with her not being there in office from next month. I wish her all the best in all that she has decided to do when she will be a home-maker. John Jethi was also in my company who became a close friend too. He is my critic and supporter and he is a strong force behind my writings and my blog. We connect on various topics and seek each other's comments on whatever we express and write.

Thank you all my team mates in Pune, who are there to listen when I have to say something!

Swati Pandit, whom I met in Mumbai for a very short time is a regular reader of my blog and we talk a lot online on different issues and things. We both share a passion for learning languages and we both are foodies. Though she is in Australia currently, I do not think she is so far from me. I just think that she is just a phone call away. Shreyas, who is more a friend to me than my brother-in-law is a very wonderful human being and I often give him gyaan because I am elder to him. He also makes me understand things sometimes from a male perspective, which is a revelation for me.

I thank all you friends for having accepted me as I am. You never judged me on my appearance or my financial background, but you all gave me unconditional love and supported me through my highs and lows. You all mean a lot to me and I would even go to the extent of saying that my life is pleasant and easier because you all are in there. I do not regret of not having a sibling to share my life, because I have you all to share now.

Ajay, Mandar, Milind, Rahul, Deepali, my group from HP (Shankar, Vishnu, Anil, Smitha), Merlyn, Shilpa - Thanks to you too! 

Happy Friendship day to you all!

Though this is not the only occasion when I should tell you how much you mean to me, this is just a token of my love and appreciation!

I dedicate this song to you all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2DqdEzP6iE

Thanks for being there!

Kishore da

Yesterday was the birth anniversary of the legendary singer Kishore Kumar.

94.3 Radio One was celebrating this occassion with great enthusiasm. All day through they played his songs and also what other people had to say about him. There is hardly any music fan in India who does not adore Kishore Kumar.

He was a versatile man. An actor, director, singer, composer, producer, lyricist. But I always liked his singing better than any other quality in him. Yes, he was an eccentric man, married 4 times, was very concerned about being paid for his singing, but he was responsible for creating magic in the Bollywood music. He rendered his voice to many actors. My personal favorite is the combination of Amitabh Bacchan and Kishore Kumar and also Rajesh Khanna and Kishore Kumar.

Who can forget the ever-green song of the movie Don, Namak Halal, Silsila where Amitabh was the hero on screen and Kishore Kumar the off-screen hero? Or the soulful songs of the movies Aradhana, Safar, Amar Prem, Kudrat, Kati Patang which created a chocolate hero image of Rajesh Khanna? Most of his songs are etched in my heart and I like the sad numbers sung by him more than the yoodly yoodly yo ho numbers.

I am listing my best 5 songs in a descending order. This is a mixed list, happy and sad numbers as well are in. It is actually very difficult to choose the best amongst the best, but still I will try.

5.  Saagar Kinaare dil ye pukare from the movie Saagar - Played beautifully onscreen by Rishi Kapoor and Dimple. I like the lyrics a lot and the picturization on the sea-side where the lead pair express love for each other.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjpet9GDWuc

4. O saathi re - This is a haunting number. Picturised on Amitabh from the movie Muqaddar ka sikandar. It has a female version too, but can't match Kishore Da's version. A person who is separated from his childhood sweetheart thinks of her and sings this song remembering her. My heart goes out to him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OssRAVZhsRk

3. Inteha ho gayi - I love this song, especially the later part, when the song picks up when Jaya Prada enters onscreen and Asha Bhonsle pitches in for her. This song again portrays Amitabh's yearning for his lady love and again Amitabh puts life in this song. I feel like dancing towards the end when Asha didi and Kishore da sing together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Foss-Vs54gk

2. There is a tie between

Aanewala pal - What lyrics and what meaning of this song. Amol Palekar on the screen and Kishore da offscreen giving us the essence of life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFRAFHtU-PE

and

Hamein aur jine ki chahat na hoti from the movie Agar tum na hote - I like the purity of this song and the relationship of dedication to each other is beautifully depicted b/w a husband and his wife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTwCvshBNKU

1. Hamein tumse pyaar kitna - From the lesser known movie, Kudrat. Oh this is one haunting number, which I can listen again and again. Picturized on Rajesh Khanna and Hema Malini. Amazing lyrics and to top it, Kishore Da's voice, no doubt this song is famous and loved even today. This also has a nice female version, but I like this more!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdEs8KexpY8

There are countless songs of Kishore Da which surface time and again and are enjoyed by one and all even after so many years.

A person like him can be born only once on this earth!

Kudos to you Kishore Da!

We all love you!

 

Janani

Mother, Maa, Amma - Let the language be different but meaning is same... I want to dedicate this to my mom who is world to me.

There is a saying - “A good mother is better than 100 Masters". Yes mom you are my master. They say the first school starts from house & the first teacher is MOTHER. YES it is very much true. You are my consolation in sorrow, my hope in misery, and my strength in weakness. You are the source of love, mercy, sympathy, and forgiveness. Mom your hands were always open when I need a hug. Your heart understood when I need a friend. Your gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson. Your strength and love has guided me when and gave me wings to fly. Thanks for giving me this wonderful life. You made a decision to have a child – “It’s momentous. I feel it is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” As I grew up with your unconditional bounding, love, care, affection, Mom I stopped seeing you with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.  The Smile which brighten any moment, those every hugs put joy in all our days, the love between mom and daughter is very special. You took me under your wings and taught me how to be a woman.

If god asks me what I want, I would say, I want my mother in all my next births. Thank you mom for all your sacrifices. Thank you for showering unconditional love on us. Thank you for all the times you gently picked me up when I fell down. For everything we shares, the dreams, the laughter and the tears

When god set the world in place

When he hung the stars up in space,

When he made the land and the sea,

Then he made you and me

Tejaswini, my best friend is extremely attached to her mother and all these lines and the poetry is penned by her.

Daughters share a very unique and special bond with their moms. Who can understand and explain it better than the daughters themselves? As god couldn’t be everywhere, he made mothers. Mothers cross the highest threshold of pain during child birth and bring their children to this world. Who else can do it?

Mothers have a heart of gold which can melt when the daughter is in pain and can also become rock solid when it is required for her daughter. She acts as a mentor, friend, guide and teaches her daughter how to make the house, where she goes after her wedding into a home.

Daughters can never replay their mothers for all that they have done for them.

I sincerely wish and pray that I and Tejaswini continue this legacy with our daughters, when we bring them into this world. It would be a partial repayment to our mothers.

Carpe diem

Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem. This poem was written by Horace. He must have had no idea that this phrase would create a revolution in the lives of people including me. This has been a theme of many songs and movies in Bollywood and also Hollywood.

This phrase is popularly translated as "seize the day", which means live this moment without worrying much about the future. Future is uncertain and full of surprises, so why waste today, which is a present from god in thinking about what will happen tomorrow.

Why am I explaining this to you all my friends?

This is the after-effect of watching the movie "Zindagi na milegi dobara". This movie has been the talk of the town since its shooting started. Lovely backdrop of Spain, well-written story, seasoned actors like Hrithik Roshan, Abhay Deol and Farhan Akhtar and meaningful songs have left me in awe.

3 friends set out on a road trip to Spain for the bachelor party of one friend, who is soon going to get married. Each one of them has planned an adventure sport and the other 2 have no clue of it till they reach the destinations and they have to experience it on the spot. While trying out 3 different adventure sports, they conquer their inner fears and let go their emotional baggage and become free and stop worrying about tomorrow. Katrina Kaif has a small role where she introduces Hrithik to things which look really small, but change his life and outlook towards life. The person who is always obsessed with money now enjoys the beauty of nature around him and realizes what all he has missed all this time. By the end of their vacation, they are changed individuals and their bonding becomes stronger.

The film leaves you with a good feeling and a thought that have you done everything you always really wanted to do or are you waiting for your 40th or 50th or 60th birthday to do that thing? Who knows if we even see our 60th birthday? How long are you going to run the rat race and mint money and lose out on small things and moments to be spent with your loved ones?

The other day, I was talking to my close friend, Aabha and we discussed about what things she would like to do before she departs this world and she had a long list. I was surprised at her list. I told her if you have so many passions and interests, why are you stuck in this corporate rut and complaining about it day in and day out? She had no answer. Her priority now is earning money because she has to repay her loan, which is quite understandable. Quitting job might not be possible at the moment, but then she can always take up something in parallel to her job. This will keep her going and also give her strength to fight it out at the work place. Isn't it?

Earning lots of money is not everything. We should also be able to enjoy the money that we earn and we definitely lose out on many wonderful moments of life while trying to make more and more money.

So friends, think about it.

Take something up which charges you up, gives you immense pleasure and brings a smile on your face. There might be things, which money can't always buy you. Try to find such things.

Life will be definitely very different then.

Love is..

There is this girl and this boy.

They stayed in a small town and studied together.

He is a North Indian Oriya boy and she is a South Indian Kannadiga girl. But both are brought up in South India.

They both started liking each other.

They moved to a bigger city for job purposes and dreamt of spending their lives together.

No, I am not narrating here the story of Chetan Bhagat’s “2 States”.

But this story is more or less on the same lines. Except that the climax and ending of their story is still waiting to be crafted by their respectable elders.

Cut to the story..

Boy tells his parents about the girl and his family is dead against this alliance.

Reason?

She is a Kannadiga, speaks a different language has a different culture, upbringing and life style. Moreover she does not belong to his caste and community. The daughters of boy’s family have a lot of liberty and freedom. They are highly educated, intelligent girls, working in reputed companies. They also have had love marriages, but the boys were from the same caste and community. This boy of whom I am talking of is the youngest and most timid of all siblings. He doesn’t want to hurt his parents and move out and marry the girl. The girl doesn’t want to marry against the wishes of her parents and his parents either.

Kare to kya kare?

Convincing his mom is going to be a herculean task. She is an ardent follower of God and worships him very much.  But she is not ready to accept a girl from another community, who is also created by the God himself. She has stopped talking to her son upon learning that he wants to get married to the girl. Her anger is justified to a certain extent, but if it is going to keep the boy and the girl and herself unhappy, she has to decide how far she should go in this matter.

I feel sad when I look at the boy. He has become so sullen and depressed that he just thinks what is going to happen in future?

But will just thinking and pondering help? If he really loves the girl and wants to settle with her, he has to take some steps. Either convince his mom or move ahead without her consent. I am sure she will mellow down with time. Which mother forever remains angry on her son? The girl which she has chosen is from a good family, has a good educational background and is working in a reputed MNC. What more does one look in a girl? The customs, rituals, habits can be explained to her after marriage and she can also be assimilated in his community.

Why are castes and communities and religions so important than bonding of 2 individuals?

I know so many couples who have different backgrounds, but now complement each other so well that is difficult to make out if they are really different from each other.

Doesn’t love help to grow as a person and learn to make adjustments and even sacrifices at times? Staying away from each other for the family’s sake is going to be a big sacrifice for this boy and girl and I just hope that they take a decision together which will be good for their future as a couple rather than which is good for their families. After all, they want to spend their lives with each other.

I had heard that love conquers all.. Not everytime..

Perhaps, for some people, their family status, their beliefs and community status is above everything else and not the joy of their offsprings.

Love is..

Complicated..