Yesterday evening, my son went to stay over for the night with a friend from his old primary school. The friend's parents own a restaurant and his elder siblings (both in their twenties) are often away at work at the restaurant. Yesterday evening the boys had no cooked home meal for dinner and had to fend themselves with a sandwich. As the parents were away and the boys had no money to buy anything, they had no other choice but to eat whatever was available at home. They must have slept late at night and my son was supposed to come back home by 12 today.
I called him up at 10 am today and he told me that they had just got up, his voice seemed a little tired and I got a whim about last night and that they just had a sandwich. He asked me if he could bring his friend over, but I told him not to as I thought it would be too much time together that could lead to boredom or fights between them. I asked him to come home alone and he came home at 11:30 itself.
Immediately when he entered, he asked me what was there for breakfast. We hadn't prepared any. I offered him tea and a leftover poli (Indian bread) from yesterday. Without uttering a single word, he devoured the poli and drank the tea, had one Khakra with tea, and went to play.
My mom-in-law fasts on Mondays and Thursdays. She usually has only one meal on these days, but because I wanted to eat sabudana thalipeeth, she prepared it for all of us and we sat at the dining table to eat at lunchtime. He ate everything that was on his plate, without any commentary or remark. That was a surprise for me. While talking over lunch, he said his friend wanted him to stay longer and go around the city on different trams. But my son didn't want to as he was very hungry and was missing Indian food. He didn't want to eat bread or pizza again at his friend's place and that was the reason he rushed home earlier than planned. He commended the thalipeeth that was prepared and he said it tasted lovely. Both my mother-in-law and I had a hearty laugh and felt good at his appreciation of Indian food. I hadn't given him any money yesterday when he left and the boys had assumed that the friend's sister would pay for them if they ordered from outside, but it didn't work out and she went out somewhere leaving the boys on their own.
It was a good lesson and experience for my son and that brought out the best behavior today in him, he was thankful for the Indian food that was served to him today which on other days is ordinary and the same boring stuff for him. What a great positive difference did one meal at his friend's place make?
I often feel whatever positive efforts we as parents make, seep deep into the kids and some time or the other, it reflects in their way of doing and handling things. The environment is different, they are exposed to so many things that have different values, morals, and codes of conduct, but as parents, it's our responsibility to make them aware of the rich Indian heritage and keep them connected with it as much as we can.
These small lessons and experiences make us strong as parents and the belief in the goodness of values and beliefs inculcated in us by our earlier generations strengthens even more.
We should try our best and leave the rest.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन |
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि
As often quoted in the Bhagwad Geeta, one should keep on doing good actions and not be concerned about the results. The results of those good acts and actions have to be left to the Bhagwan. We are serving him through our actions as the individual soul is a tiny part of the Bhagwan. I am trying to follow it, but it's not easy as an Indian parent in the Western world, but also not impossible. To keep trying with loads of patience is the key.
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