Goodbye my dear friend!

"Did you get to know about K"?

These words flashed on my Facebook messenger from a friend with whom I am regularly in touch about my current lifestyle, the intermittent fasting.She is also my colleague and we have many common friends. My heart beats increased for a minute. K! What about him?! I hope he is fine. I hope he is doing well. I hope nothing untoward has happened. My ears turned red and hot. These thoughts raced my mind. I mustered courage and said, "No. What happened"?

"He passed away last night in Bangalore. He had an cardiac arrest"

My eyes read those words, but my heart didn't want to really believe them and brain couldn't really decipher their meaning. I sat blank. I sat aghast. I was speechless. I didn't know what to do! I wanted to shout, I wanted to cry. I wanted to talk to K, for one last time. But the time and he were gone forever.

I met K during my first job in Bangalore. We both were from Mumbai and realized later that we both had studied German at the Mumbai University, but had never seen each other in Mumbai. Destiny brought us together at work and we hit off almost instantly with one more friend, S from Pune. We coming from a Maharashtrian background had lot of things in common and that one year we enjoyed like crazy. It was our first job, first time we were away from our family, in a new city, with new people! We went shopping, we went for movies, we visited each other's homes, talked, laughed and shared together. K seemed a quiet person on his face, but once he opened his mouth, he was very witty and funny. S and K were always at each other's wit's ends. It was always Pune vs. Mumbai and I supported K all the way.

I moved back to Mumbai for some time, S changed jobs. K was still with the old company. I came back to Bangalore and to the company within 3 months and the bond with K grew stronger. After I got married, my husband also got introduced to him and we were like one family. K's sister and mom were in Mumbai and he stayed alone in Bangalore. But because I was there, his family was not worried about him. Whenever his mom visited Bangalore, I met up with her. She invited me home for tea. I invited them for lunch. I always talked to K and kept in touch with him on phone or by meeting personally. S and I convinced K to rent out a small flat and also helped him shop for TV, fridge and many other things. We set his house up. That evening was indeed a memorable one. We literally coaxed K to shell out money, which otherwise he wasn't ready to. He always made plans but didn't execute them. We often teased him and asked him, so when is the "muhurta" (auspicious time) for buying clothes? In next 5 years? K took it sportingly and never got angry on us. He was a great procrastinator. He always took time to decide and act upon things and S and I often bugged him to change his habits.

He was in Germany when T was born and when I went to Germany on an assignment, we were in the same office for about 8 months. He accompanied me on the first day to the new office, showed me around, we went on breaks together. He often visited us and played with T in Germany. Our bond grew stronger and stronger. K was extremely private person. He didn't have many friends. He talked only to me. About his fears, his inadequacies, his shortcomings. But that never came between us. I always tried to cheer him up and listened to him patiently. After I returned to Bangalore after the assignment in Germany, T grew extremely fond of him and he often wanted to visit K kaka as K kaka pampered him with Oreo biscuits and gave him Ipad to play and watch.

In December 2016 due to some misunderstanding, we completely cut off contact with each other. We met very formally in office, twice, just for 10 minutes with nothing more than hi hello, how are you doing, all well? He thought I am angry and upset with him and I thought he doesn't want to interact with me and has found a group with whom he can hang out. How silly of me! His birthday was on the 30th July and I had decided to talk to him this year and bury all the past things and get going like old pals. The day I decided to do this brought me the news of his sudden demise. I wanted to ask him why he stopped talking and why didn't he chide me for not keeping in touch. We were that close that we should not have stopped talking in the first place. But how the human mind works and assumes things which are not a reality actually. I often missed talking with him during that period, but never made an attempt to get back in touch. 

K, I am sorry that I didn't keep in touch with you. I am sorry that I didn't make an attempt to re-establish contact with you. I have no idea what you went through in the past few months when we weren't in touch. Wherever you are today, you have my prayers and good wishes and I hope you find peace. I will always remember the good times we shared and will forget the bad phase in our friendship.

God bless your soul! Rest in peace!

Goodbye dear K!

You will always be missed!