The "integration"

You can't drive

You can't ride a bicycle

You do not drink beer

You drink tea with milk and sugar and not black

You do not eat non-vegetarian food

You do not use paper in the toilet

You do not open a communication with the Germans here

You cannot be integrated in the German culture

I am fed of listening to these diktats of becoming one like "them" in a western country, where I have come on an official assignment and on temporary basis. I think to myself, why should I become one like "them"? What's wrong with me being what I am? Why should I change my food habits and behavioral patterns? Am I causing harm to anyone by being my natural self? Am I hurting someone by not eating the non-vegetarian food, available in plenty here? I do not think so. 

We met for our regular coffee meet on Sunday and this was a very serious topic that we discussed. Two of my friends are here for around 10 years and they still feel lonely here. They are here with their families, they are working women, they enjoy the freedom and facilities here, but at the same time feel as outsiders. One genuine question which my friend Sunita pose the other day was: "If my daughter goes to Britian for a competition from her school here, will she be considered as a German?". Her daughter speaks excellent German, is very bright in her school, also knows English and Marathi (which is her mother-tongue) and is excellent in Maths and other subjects at school. We all thought about it and the answer which came to us was a big NO. She wouldn't be treated or considered as a German. Why? Due to her skin color? Due to her looks? Or because she wouldn't have a German surname? We actually had no answer to it. Even after staying there all her life and giving her best to the country, she would be still considered as an Asian, an Indian. Maybe her kids would find some acceptance as a third generation in this country. 

I studied German for about 8 years. I know German culture out and out and still I am not able to adjust myself here mentally. I feel extremely lonely and left-out here though my family is here and I have a few friends whom I meet on a regular basis. But still I do not feel connected here with anything or anybody. I yearn to go back to India, to Bangalore, knowing fully well the conditions and circumstances over there are pathetic compared to all the western countries. Maybe it is little too early to judge this country and the people and I should also take my time to see and experience things by being myself. Integration is not giving up our identity and becoming a different person altogether, but it is taking the best things from both the cultures by influencing each other in a positive manner and getting enriched in that process, and it should not be making a person sad and lonely and making him feel as an outsider.