The changing dadda (daddy)

My best friend gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday and her husband, who is also a good friend of mine gave this good news to me through e-mail. His last sentences in the mail were, "Both the mother and the baby girl are doing great and I am over the moon". I was so happy to see this. From the time, my friend has conceived, more than her, he wanted a baby girl and he addressed the baby in the womb as "she" baby every time he spoke to her. Welcoming a baby in the world is getting more and more eventful for the new daddies, I must say.

My husband is not talkative types, definitely not like me. He speaks limited number of words to limited people only. But when I saw him talking to our newborn, Tanay, I was so thrilled. He was narrating him the events of the day and also what all things would they both be doing once we join him in Germany. He tried lifting him on the day he arrived with little help from my mother-in-law. If Tanay cried, he rushed by his side immediately talking to him in baby language, asking him what he wants and why is he crying. That initial bond between a father and a son was something new for me. I grew up as an only child and had no aunts, uncles with whose children I could play during childhood. In my family, I was the last baby, that was 33 years ago and then Tanay arrived this year. So, this experience of handling the baby was very new to me and my parents and we were doubtful of every small thing which we did for the baby. But over the time, things fell in place and now I can handle the baby alone. But my dad supersedes me in this. He can single-handedly take care of Tanay if I have to go out in emergency. My dad was not so close to me when I was a kid. He had his own problems to face and I feared him like crazy. But during the past 10 years, we have bonded very well and he seems to be there for every small or big thing in my life, which is now the usual trend with modern daddies.

Daddies of my generation are more friendly with their kids. They command respect, no doubt, but the fear factor seems to have lessened a lot over the time. Dads spend more time with their kids, take them to movies, read them books, talk to them about life and general things happening in their kid's school or college. I even saw a couple of daddies take their kids to the doctor which I found very sweet and adorable. All this while, it was the domain of mommies to nurse the kids in sickness, but now even daddies seem to take active part in all the activities of their kids. Many dads cook well in the kitchen and the kids enjoy hanging around with them. It is daddies again who introduce their kids to all the modern gadgets they use in their office. The other day, when I took Tanay to the doctor, I saw a small girl and her dad waiting for their turn. The daddy had a book in this hand and his little girl was exploring the new Samsung Galaxy S III phone with instructions from him. Daddies use laptop, i-pad, i-phone and what not in their jobs and so the kids are exposed to technology at a very young age and hence they become techno-savvy and pick up things very well. My best friend's 4 yrs old son wants his full time and attention on the w/e as he does not get time to spend with the kid due to work on week days. They both go to the park or to the station to see trains, talk about his playschool and friends. Mom is nowhere in the picture then. Another friend's daughter literally neglects her mom when her dad steps in the house after work.

The relation of fathers/daddies with their children has evolved with time. I have seen my dad and grandfather's interaction which is way different from how I and my dad interact. I scold him when he neglects his health and he makes me understand certain things like a mom would. And now Tanay and his dad would be on a different plateau altogether because both are a product of Gen-X. It is going to be interesting to watch Tanay and his father grow over the years. And I am so looking forward to a healthier and friendlier ties between the duo.

My first lessons

My little boy just turned 2 months old.

And it has been such a wonderful experience being with him all the time. Every day there are new things to be discovered about him and that makes him so adorable. Being such a tiny tot, he commands the time of all the adults in the house. I would rather say the whole house revolves around him and is busy to make him smile and comfortable and happy.

And I must mention here that my boy is a very happy soul, very cool and composed. He shares this trait with his dad, perhaps! He is having severe cough and cold from past 4 days, but not a single day is he irritated or sissy. The only time he becomes a little low was while drinking milk as he is coughing incessantly with every single sip of milk. But that lasts only for that moment. The next moment he is smiling to us and cooing. I find it really incredible. Such a maturity at this small age? I am not able to see him struggling during feeds, but he appears quite normal once the coughing stops. He did all his routine stuff like smiling to the fan, watching his great grandmother talk to him, cycling fast with his legs and playing boxing with his two tiny hands.

Tanay's approach to his problem left me thinking. How do big people react to small problems in their life, fuss about it and think that why are they targeted to face problems in their lives and how this 2 month old baby is reacting to a big problem in his life. (Big in the sense, I am talking with respect to his age. He had to be put on nebulizer as the cough was not reducing, which is quite normal nowadays.). Throughout the day, he is his cheerful self and brings joy to us with each passing moment. He now recognizes people well. Right now it is his mom, that is me, his aaba, that is my father and his paNji that is my grandmother. He also responds well to my maid and cook and listens them talk to him with keen interest. There is one more lesson to be learnt here. That is unconditional acceptance of people. No matter who you are, he smiles to you. His toothless smile bowls you over. He doesn't discriminate between his mom and the maid. We both talk to him and he responds equally to both of us which is so very cute. There is no difference between people in his life right now. Everybody is welcome in his world as long as you are talking to him and sharing the happenings with him. I am sure with this habit of listening people talk, he is going to pick up language fast and is going to be talkative, just like me!

How a small baby changes your world in a very positive way! One gets tons of patience in bringing the baby up and also gets educated in the bargain! I am looking forward to a few more lessons in the coming months!