Carpe diem

Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem. This poem was written by Horace. He must have had no idea that this phrase would create a revolution in the lives of people including me. This has been a theme of many songs and movies in Bollywood and also Hollywood.

This phrase is popularly translated as "seize the day", which means live this moment without worrying much about the future. Future is uncertain and full of surprises, so why waste today, which is a present from god in thinking about what will happen tomorrow.

Why am I explaining this to you all my friends?

This is the after-effect of watching the movie "Zindagi na milegi dobara". This movie has been the talk of the town since its shooting started. Lovely backdrop of Spain, well-written story, seasoned actors like Hrithik Roshan, Abhay Deol and Farhan Akhtar and meaningful songs have left me in awe.

3 friends set out on a road trip to Spain for the bachelor party of one friend, who is soon going to get married. Each one of them has planned an adventure sport and the other 2 have no clue of it till they reach the destinations and they have to experience it on the spot. While trying out 3 different adventure sports, they conquer their inner fears and let go their emotional baggage and become free and stop worrying about tomorrow. Katrina Kaif has a small role where she introduces Hrithik to things which look really small, but change his life and outlook towards life. The person who is always obsessed with money now enjoys the beauty of nature around him and realizes what all he has missed all this time. By the end of their vacation, they are changed individuals and their bonding becomes stronger.

The film leaves you with a good feeling and a thought that have you done everything you always really wanted to do or are you waiting for your 40th or 50th or 60th birthday to do that thing? Who knows if we even see our 60th birthday? How long are you going to run the rat race and mint money and lose out on small things and moments to be spent with your loved ones?

The other day, I was talking to my close friend, Aabha and we discussed about what things she would like to do before she departs this world and she had a long list. I was surprised at her list. I told her if you have so many passions and interests, why are you stuck in this corporate rut and complaining about it day in and day out? She had no answer. Her priority now is earning money because she has to repay her loan, which is quite understandable. Quitting job might not be possible at the moment, but then she can always take up something in parallel to her job. This will keep her going and also give her strength to fight it out at the work place. Isn't it?

Earning lots of money is not everything. We should also be able to enjoy the money that we earn and we definitely lose out on many wonderful moments of life while trying to make more and more money.

So friends, think about it.

Take something up which charges you up, gives you immense pleasure and brings a smile on your face. There might be things, which money can't always buy you. Try to find such things.

Life will be definitely very different then.

Love is..

There is this girl and this boy.

They stayed in a small town and studied together.

He is a North Indian Oriya boy and she is a South Indian Kannadiga girl. But both are brought up in South India.

They both started liking each other.

They moved to a bigger city for job purposes and dreamt of spending their lives together.

No, I am not narrating here the story of Chetan Bhagat’s “2 States”.

But this story is more or less on the same lines. Except that the climax and ending of their story is still waiting to be crafted by their respectable elders.

Cut to the story..

Boy tells his parents about the girl and his family is dead against this alliance.

Reason?

She is a Kannadiga, speaks a different language has a different culture, upbringing and life style. Moreover she does not belong to his caste and community. The daughters of boy’s family have a lot of liberty and freedom. They are highly educated, intelligent girls, working in reputed companies. They also have had love marriages, but the boys were from the same caste and community. This boy of whom I am talking of is the youngest and most timid of all siblings. He doesn’t want to hurt his parents and move out and marry the girl. The girl doesn’t want to marry against the wishes of her parents and his parents either.

Kare to kya kare?

Convincing his mom is going to be a herculean task. She is an ardent follower of God and worships him very much.  But she is not ready to accept a girl from another community, who is also created by the God himself. She has stopped talking to her son upon learning that he wants to get married to the girl. Her anger is justified to a certain extent, but if it is going to keep the boy and the girl and herself unhappy, she has to decide how far she should go in this matter.

I feel sad when I look at the boy. He has become so sullen and depressed that he just thinks what is going to happen in future?

But will just thinking and pondering help? If he really loves the girl and wants to settle with her, he has to take some steps. Either convince his mom or move ahead without her consent. I am sure she will mellow down with time. Which mother forever remains angry on her son? The girl which she has chosen is from a good family, has a good educational background and is working in a reputed MNC. What more does one look in a girl? The customs, rituals, habits can be explained to her after marriage and she can also be assimilated in his community.

Why are castes and communities and religions so important than bonding of 2 individuals?

I know so many couples who have different backgrounds, but now complement each other so well that is difficult to make out if they are really different from each other.

Doesn’t love help to grow as a person and learn to make adjustments and even sacrifices at times? Staying away from each other for the family’s sake is going to be a big sacrifice for this boy and girl and I just hope that they take a decision together which will be good for their future as a couple rather than which is good for their families. After all, they want to spend their lives with each other.

I had heard that love conquers all.. Not everytime..

Perhaps, for some people, their family status, their beliefs and community status is above everything else and not the joy of their offsprings.

Love is..

Complicated..

One month old

You all must be wondering by looking at the title what is one month old now..?

I celebrated the completion of 1 month of posting on my blog.

Then I celebrated my 50^th post of the blog.

I also celebrated my 5^th wedding anniversary here.

Now it is whose turn…?

Today, I completed 1 month in my resort-like home, my own dream house. Exactly one month ago, my parents, I and one helper came to this abode of mine with luggage and only luggage around and now when I look back, I wonder, how we arranged the things, which are quite in their place today.

After waiting endlessly for a mover and packer on that day, who ditched us at the last moment, I had to call someone else, who arrived at 5 pm in the evening, this was exactly one month ago, i.e. on 26^th June. We were all dressed up, ready to leave the rented flat and have lunch at the new house. But do things always happen as we want them to happen? No. never. We couldn’t have lunch at the new house that day. We had lunch in the rented flat itself, and also the evening tea. My mom even thought of having dinner there itself and postponing the shifting to the next day, which was Monday. My dad and I weren’t ready at all to delay it by another day. I had already prepared myself mentally for it and wanted to go there on that day itself. Strange are the ways of human mind. I waited for one whole year to move in to the new house and now even few hours were sounding impossible to carry on.

Finally the second mover and packer arrived after much follow-up and in an hr, he packed things. In an hr, all things were gone in the truck. We bid good bye to my landlady by having a last coffee with her and with tearful eyes and hopeful heart, we moved to the new house. We reached there by 8 pm and I decided to cook something for dinner on the new hob. I cooked simple rice dish and everybody ate it with relish. We all were tired and slept off that day thinking of the huge ordeal that was before us..

Unpacking, disposing off unwanted things and then arranging things which are necessary!

Because my dad was there with me, I had less to worry about. The gas connection, telephone connection, cable connection and water purifier were all set before we all moved in. Main task was of unpacking and arranging stuff. We didn’t know where to start and that is when this helper, whom my dad had got from Mumbai, hit upon an idea. He arranged all things on the floor and just like small kids play shop and shopping, he placed all things one by one and put up a dummy shop. We picked things which were displayed on the floor and put them in places, which we thought to be best for them and within no time, his so-called shop was empty and the bedroom was ready. We did the same thing for kitchen and the kitchen was arranged within no time. Till lunch –time, kitchen and master bedroom were ready. Guest room and hall was not a big thing, once 2 rooms were already covered. We had food, relaxed and got back into action and within 2 days, the house was up and running with proper arrangements of the accessories and show pieces. It felt so good and my own resort-like home looked so good!!! I clicked a few photos and sent to Atul and my close friends. I was feeling so nice to be in the house now. Hadn’t my parents being there, all this was impossible, but god has sent his best people to me and I need not fear anything in life.

The helper, who had come with my dad from Mumbai did everything so very carefully and keenly that I was amazed to see his dedication. It was my house, but he worked like he would do for his own daughter. He was happy when the house was set and I couldn’t thank him enough.  I gave him some things, which were no longer useful to me, but were very useful to him. He accepted them happily and left for his village to do farming (monsoon had arrived and he wanted to plough his fields), which he had postponed, just for me! God sends help in all shapes and sizes, important is we recognize and appreciate it, isn’t it?  

Once he left, mom and dad and I spent a nice time together, seeing the shops around. We arranged for milk delivery, paper delivery and also found out about the medical shop and the grocery shop which was within the campus itself and the life became easier. My mother-in-law arrived and then my mom left and then my dad. I suddenly felt so empty and sad; we all were together for almost a month. But, then I had to move ahead and wait for dear hubby to come back and see what he comments on the arrangements which I did in his absence.

He arrived on Saturday from Germany after a stint of 2 months there. He liked a few things and wanted to change a few others, which is quite justified. I was irritated initially with his reactions, but then thought, why not, it is his house too, he would also like to arrange things according to his choice and precision. So, now once he settles and gets back to routine, we both, with each other’s “help” will carry out a little re-shifting and re-arranging.  I am sure we are going to have lot of sessions of “Agreeing to disagree”, which comes naturally to any married couple, but it surely adds fun to life, isn’t it?

So, I am looking forward to such disagreements, debates and I will keep you posted about it.

J

Office Office

How should one feel when he/she is suddenly asked to hand over the work related responsibilities (which he/she has been carrying out quite well in past 3-4 months) to someone in the office who has just joined?

Reason: This person leads the team remotely, which does not make sense to the management and the management needs someone who can handle team in that location itself. From the business point of view, it is justified. But from that individual's perspective? Isn't that detrimental to his/her self confidence and his/her ability to lead the team nicely?

The person in question is me, who is working in the company since 4 yrs now and has a good command on whatever I do. Recently I was given the responsibility of leading the team and assigning work to my colleagues and keeping a track of all that is been done. There were no escalations in the time I looked after the assignment part. Translated documents were delivered on time, I managed all the mail communication well and suddenly in the last week, it was communicated to me, "Hello there! Your services are no longer needed for this role. You are as good as invisible and we need someone who can be present there physically. So, you can decide if you want to go back to your previous role of document translation or do something else. Discuss this with the new person who will take over and decide accordingly."

Working remotely in the sense, not working closely with the team by sitting with them has always been a problem for me in the long run. My previous project also chucked me out giving me the same reason that you are extremely good, but we can't continue working with you remotely and yet again the history is going to get repeated. I felt bad on knowing that my hard work did not pay off well even this time. There is a possibility that I can re-locate to the place where my team sits and do the role of a team leader from there.

But then I am committed to my husband and my home and I will not move away from them for the sake of making a career. I am not someone who will sacrifice my personal life for the sake of moving up the ladder. I am rather content with whatever I have now. Many of you might think that I am not strong enough to struggle and make my voice and decision heard. But my hubby and my home have always been the focal points in my life and shall always be and I would rather work on my own than re-locate to a location where I have to start everything afresh.

Am I right in whatever I am thinking and doing?

Book review - I too had a love story

I am always fascinated by anything that is related to love and companionship and sharing.

The book "Love Story" by Erich Segal is one of my favorites and I also loved the movie very much, though it has a tragic end.

"P.S. I love you" by Cecilia Ahern is another favorite of mine and it sits on my bookshelf in the first place.

When Sai and Tejaswini, my friends from office were talking about this book, "I too had a love story", I thought here comes another heart-wrenching story, didn't have many expectations from the book. But I got hold of that book yesterday and I couldn't believe myself that I finished it in 1 day flat.

The book is written by an IT professional and the book says that it is a true love story.

The protaganist meets the love of his life through a matrimonial site and they hit off instantly. Though distance separates them, they get close to each other and fall in love, eventually meet and decide to get married. They believe that they have met their soul mate. Everybody is happy, the families meet each other and decide the date of engagement and just 2 days before the engagement, she meets with a terrible accident and dies after struggling for almost 7 days. The protaganist is devastated, but he still lives for the sake of it and cherishes all the moments he spent with his lady love and doesn't want to get married again. This is the gist of the book.

The author has used very simple language, very pictorial and I could literally see the very loving, caring and free spirited Khushi, his lady love. Their involvement in each other, their sharing and caring and their talks moved me a lot and I could see myself in them as I have also gone through that phase. I also met my sweetheart on an e-group and by chatting, calling each other and meeting personally, we gradually got married.

The tragic end of their love story blanked me out and I was uneasy for a very long time..

My husband often goes on business trips for 2-3 months, but I know that sometime he is going to be back and I wait for that day eagerly. What must be the author feeling about his love, which is never going to come back to him ever? I felt very bad for him and was moved to tears, the emotional person in me took over the rational person in me.

My raakhi brother from school married his sweetheart, but lost her to malaria within 3 months of their marriage.
Another friend of mine had a childhood sweetheart, their wedding date was decided and suddenly one day after she returned from a foreign assignment, she realized that she has cancer which is in the last stage. And within 2 months, she died and he faced it bravely. Fortunately for him, he met somebody later and they are happily married now.

These 2 people flashed in front of my eyes when I was reading the book. I thought as if they both are talking their hearts out through this book. I knew their pain and lonliness now and could feel what they might have gone through.

I wish the author meets someone again in his life and he meets someone who would love him more than Khushi did. For that he has to keep his heart open and believe that love finds it own way.

And a word of caution to everybody who are happily married or wanting to get settled with their partners.

Don't take each other for granted and try to do everything possible to show how much he/she means to you.

Remember, Life is beautiful because he/she is with you!!

Terror attacks in Mumbai

The headlines of a leading newspaper reads:

YET AGAIN

The hustling and bustling city of Mumbai is attacked again.

Serial bomb blasts rock the city again killing and injuring many people.

Mumbaikars are not new to these type of attacks. They have grown immune by now, I suppose. It is a part and parcel of their life and they go out of their house everyday by wearing their heart on their sleeve. They do not know what will happen in the evening and whether they will come back home and yet they do not fear facing the unknown tomorrow sitting in their houses.

Immediately the government rushes it's task force, but what were the task forces doing all this while when the attacks were executed?

Didn't the intelligence get any tip off from somewhere as it usually does?

Is it not clear that the localites are involved in conducting these attacks?

How do so-called terrorist group from an outside country carries out it's activities so very efficiently here in India?

How long is the government just going to sit on the issue of terrorism with our neighbor country? Not the ministers, but the innocent local man is getting killed mercilessly.

Are we ever going to react strongly to this issue or are just going to look at it as an every day event?

Questions and only questions.

Wonder whether we will ever be free from these cheap attacks which not only scar the spirit of mankind, but also blot the life of an individual.

Bhelpuri

Where does this word, this concept "bhelpuri" take you?

If you are in Mumbai or from Mumbai, then you have to be in love with this entire fraternity of chaat.

I suddenly fly to the beach called as Chowpatty near to an area Girgaon, where my maternal grandmother stayed and where I always went as a child. I see the stalls of chaat vendors strewn all over the place. Mouth watering dishes like bhelpuri, paani puri, dahi puri, samosa chaat are churned out for innumerable people and everybody seems to be enjoying that feat. Families, friends, lovers all seem to gorge upon it as if they are famished since ages. Delicious stuff in damn cheap rates! And it tastes all the more great when it is topped with raw mango slices or coriander or pomegranate seeds. Even lemon put in appropriate portion works wonders. Day in and day out, the taste never changes.. How do the vendors manage to attract so many people for such a long time? Business tactics, I suppose!

Reference from Google: Chaat (Hindi: चाट) is plate of savoury snacks, typically served at road-side tracks from stalls or carts in India. With its origins in east India, chaat has become immensely popular in the rest of India and the rest of South Asia.

In my hometown, there was a small chaat vendor, who became big and rich just by running this business and he expanded his business by buying 2-3 shops nearby and became very famous. Whenever I travel to my hometown, I make it a point to visit that place and savor the tasty bhelpuri!! Earlier, once the college exams were over, my group of friends gathered at a small joint, be it the chaat vendor or a small restaurant, and ate to our heart's content and not only our stomachs, but our hearts were also filled. It wasn't very hi-fi or hygenic place, but we were very happy with the food we ate and company we had. We never fell ill then.

Cut to 2012

I visit an expensive restaurant in Bangalore and order food with great expectations and when the food arrives and I eat it, I think I have wasted money unnecessarily. I think of other things such as oil, hygiene, calories so much that the food suddenly looks bland and colorless. Do you also feel the same many a times?

I wonder, what is the reason? Is it that the feeling of being content in anything small is almost forgotten and there are lot of options, parallel options available where we can easily spend money without botheration? If you ask me, if I am satisfied with so many options, that are available, I would say, I am confused with so many options and do not know what exactly to eat that will satisfy my heart and stomach equally.

Why does the pani puri, bhel puri, vada paav costing only Rs. 10 give immense pleasure than an expensive buffet lunch in a 5 star hotel?  

Can you tell me why?

Practise makes man perfect

As I have written in my earlier post, I enrolled for driving classes and also took my Learner's license from Dombivli, my home town.

I returned to Bangalore, shifted to a new house and resumed my driving practise. I initially took the car in the huge campus where I stay now, but didn't exactly know how to slow down when their were speed breakers or when people or cars suddenly came in front while I was driving. So my dad suggested to take help of a professional driver, who would guide me and help me learn driving in the Bangalore traffic. My dad drives in Maharashtra, he can drive on any and every car. But here he was not sure if he could teach me. So, I also didn't think much and decided to engage a driver from an agency which provides drivers to people all around Bangalore.

The driver came on Monday and we started the training. He didn't know Hindi or English and he shouted at me for almost every mistake I did on the first day. It was my first long drive experience on my own car and I was nervous. He took me to the over-crowded Outer ring road, which is near my house and which is dug up everywhere and has tremendous traffic all the time. I must have stopped at least 10 times on the road with so much of honking in the background and the traffic around and to top the tension was his constant instructing and shouting. I thought of running away from my car. But couldn't. Driving requires a composed mind, when one is novice. One should be calm to be able to think what his/her next action should be. Amidst his shouting and traffic, I completely lost confidence and control. I came back and told my mom and mother-in-law that I didn't quite enjoy the experience. But they both and even my dad said, no it is OK, it is the way in which one learns, do not take it to heart etc. etc.

2nd day same story, 3rd day ditto and today I blew it off. His shouting, my tension, his sudden application of handbrake on the main road when car is in full swing and the car screeching very badly, his constant telling me that I won't be able to drive in next 10 years and his constant complaint of me not using brakes properly culminated, my heart became heavy and all the vent up emotions of the past 4 days found way in tears. You all might laugh at me and say, what I a fool I was to react like this to a stranger's behavior. But I am very emotional and sentimental. Even if my hubby or my parents say something to me, I start sobbing and this person was not even related to me.

I got very depressed and like a small child announces that he won't go to school from tomorrow, I also announced that I won't practise anymore with a person who doesn't know how to teach and talk to ladies. I explained situation to my dad and gave him confidence that I was better off with him when I practised with him. Now that I know the basics, only thing to do now is practise a lot on all possible roads and all possible ways. On 1st day, the car stopped so many times and today on the 4th day, it didn't stop once. I applied brakes carefully, was in full control, but still I had to take the shouting of that driver. I will admit that I gained confidence to drive on main roads and learnt small tips from him, but hadn't expected such a rude behavior from someone who was there to teach me and not to show how foolishly I am driving..

I decided. Not to take his crap anymore.

So, from tomorrow onwards, I will go for practise only with my dad and also enjoy the experience of being able to drive my own car! I am sure there is always a scope of improvisation depending on the traffic and situations. I am already feeling so happy and light by tomorrow's thought!!

Yahooooooooooo

Resort - like

Up to the last 10 years Bangalore was a haven of greenery and wonderful climate.

Due to the industrialization and the IT boom, this city has been a witness to massive migration from all parts of the country and the title of being the coolest city in almost all months during the year is slowing slipping away. When I came to Bangalore in 2005, I stayed in a 2 BHK which was on a ground floor and didn't realize the summer heat which gripped other people in the city. After I got married, we shifted to an independent house which was on the first floor and there was just the terrace above our flat. It was then we realized, how hot even Bangalore gets in the months of April, May and June. It became very unbearable especially in the evenings, when I came back from office and opened the door to a furnace which was my house. It got baked from all sides throughout the day and it became so hot inside that I had to open all the windows and doors and let the cool wind from outside come in and cool the baked house. Every day I thought, we should get a AC or a cooler, but then again the thought came that summers are not going to last for ever. In all other seasons, it was a pleasure to stay there.

Atul and I loved being in this city and our jobs were also lucrative and interesting. We decided to buy a flat of our own and settle down in Bangalore for some years. As you all know, property rates in Bangalore are enormous and to get a 2 BHK flat in a decent locality, one has to shell out lot of money. After seeing many sites and properties, we settled down on one which was in a small complex, comprising of only 9 buildings which had only 3 floors. Ours was on the ground floor and it was facing an orchard of sapota (chiku) trees and it was elevated, had car parking below, giving us a feel of being on the 1st floor itself.

It took nearly 1 and a half years to get the flat ready for us to move in. We did the vastu shanti puja (grihpravesh and house warming) in February itself when the wood work was on. Finally in June this year, I moved to our new flat, our dream house with the help of my parents and a helper. Atul was away for work in Germany and I didn't want to wait for 2 more months to move in to the new house. I had already prepared myself mentally for it and was waiting to go there.

First day of our stay seemed very much like being on a holiday or a vacation to a resort. Cool breezes, green trees swaying to its tunes and different birds talking to each other in their own language was a pleasing sight and the connection to nature was instant. There were hardly any people visible lest you walk down to the main gate or cooks or maids ringing your door bell to check if you needed their services. I was feeling so relaxed amidst such a calm and quiet surrounding that I felt lazy to step out of this tranquility even to go to the office, which is within 2 kms from my house. There is so much of humdrum once I step out of this haven of mine that it seems as if 2 different worlds co-exist. But then I have to go out for work and for sundry purposes and I shouldn't get lazy, isn't it?

Moving to my own house has been a welcome change in my life and I love this laid back and silent life where one has time to do what one likes and has time to spend on leisure activities and not run like mad men in the rat race, where people do not know where they are heading to. This peace in the exterior surrounding will also give me inner peace and fodder to my thoughts which I can pen down on my blog. I will be able to write more often and on more varied topics and chances are that I also venture out into some other hobbies like learning a language or joining dance classes. My parents and mother in law think it is too quiet here and they have nothing much to do here. That is true in their case as they have a life in Dombivli and Pune respectively and this stay in Bangalore in the new house will be a nice change for them for a few days.

I am waiting for Atul to return and his comments on this resort - like home of ours!

Mr. Dabke, your thoughts on it, once you are back to namma Bengaluru please!!!!

Aaj main upar aasman niche

Remember this song from the movie Khamoshi??

Nice lyrics, sung by the versatile singer Kavita Krishnamoorthy and enacted by Manisha Koirala on the screen. It is a catchy number and full of life and happiness. Manisha Koirala has acted well and depicted her out of bounds happiness well in that song.

I was exactly feeling the same when I received a huge surprise from my husband, who is away for work in Germany. Yesterday was our 5th wedding anniversary and we were not together this year. We did not have much control on it though. But then this special day of ours was made truly memorable by his sweetest gesture ever.

He sent me a cake and a bouquet of red roses yesterday and wished me a very happy wedding anniversary. He is generally not into gifts and surprises, but this year, he swept me across my feet and impressed me a lot by keeping this a well-guarded secret. He wasn't there for my birthday either, in October last year and still he managed to gift me a beautiful Titan Raaga wrist watch. I couldn't believe my eyes. What has changed him so much? Is it my love and company? I wish to believe that is the only thing to bring about a positive change in him. haha.

Why are gifts and gifting so much important, especially in a woman's life? Because she equates them to appreciation, loving and caring. When a husband gets something for her, be it even a few flowers or a pen, she gets elated by the very thought that he remembered her at that moment and got something for her. This can be felt and identified only by a woman, who has got some or the other token of appreciation from her husband or boyfriend in this daily routine of life. This keeps a relationship ticking, fresh and lively. I am not saying that gifting is the only form of showing that someone cares or loves. But once a while, it really feels good!

I do not know what men associate gifting with and why are they so backward when it comes to gift their own loved ones :D

Anyways, I am happy to see the change in my hubby and I will tell him 1 thing.

Keep it up every year ;)